is 'defouling' a word?

how old r u?

whell for your information i have not yet done my G.C.S.E'S so dont even bother to compare it to them

what the fuck has this got to do with the colour green?

i would just like to say brilliant poem.

i just dont get it. why are nearly all your poems so darn short?

what the fuck? talk about dazed and confused thats what this poem left me as.

ballet? you gotta be kidding me, never would i wear a pink fucking tutu

If you are the "real" Dave Bowman then the ending is hardly a surprise though I would never have had you down as a poet.Must be lots more - what was it 17 months spare time? Good 7/10.

horus8 likes being rude doesn't he/she. in nearly every comment he/she gives there is always rudeness so please tell me why is that? do you have some uncrontrolable disease which makes you want to think of rude things to add to nearly all your comments or sumthing?

brilliant

THIS POEME IS SURE SCARY!!!!!!!!!

thanks for the advice blake. sounds like horus8 has been dissin everyone at the moment. nearly every comment he gives it is always bad.i think he needs to look at his own poems before he starts dissin ours dont you think so?

Iuvenes aeque ac nationes non nisi labore metam attingere posse.

This sounds like something Danny DeVito might say in response to a poetry reading...point made, but with the delicacy of a sledgehammer.

I'm not so sure this is brilliant and I hope this phase of your writing is passing. I realize reading the literary elite if Great Britain, especially in high school, can change our perspective greatly. Make us see the literary light, so to speak. In addition, it is important to try every convention that suits you, but maybe it is best left as practice. Besides being a very poor attempt at recreating style, the poem is filled with simple mistakes of language and numerous contradictions that when put together make the poem bounce off itself. It goes nowhere and sounds incredibly adolescent, even if it is wrapped in the antiquated language. See, they were using their own language. It was natural to them. Here it seems like you opened a Lit book, learned some new words and headed for the typewriter.

Very well written...those who work in modern style should look to work like this, that crosses boundaries of form, by intensity of feeling, connectibility, and depth.

What are apple cheeks? "Had carried" is an odd transition and possibly inncorrect. It confuses the entire attempt.

all that fighting over just a poem and a poemwriter using over one username (LOL) so how old r u then -=Dark_Angel=- ??????

not telling