Nicely Done.

incorrect answer, but i'll buy you a beer anyway. this one's a layered riddle.

You have succeeded. I am now thirsty.

"this sort of thing has cropped up before and it has always been due to human error."

the first 3 stanzas are off like a shot; the last 2 falter/drain the strength of what you were buolding up to. the language loses its crispness.

thoughtless, above, referring to the drive of the potential, not to the poem. the poem is well-thought-out.

Well, janglejack, you have succeeded in creating new uses for the ellipsoidal. You can take that away with you while you get some thicker skin.

I have to agree with the writer of triangle poems. The varied rhythms are interesting - I feel the jerk and pull. In addition, I like the "drug of relief" - good image.

what has been raped here is the art form of Haiku. Are you trying to piss off the japanese?

Robert--please email me. i would like to ask you a question about salt

The last line is incredibly confusing.

the only part I'd say doesn't fit is the word "inhaled"...

How can it be a day like any other when you meet such a hottie? "A body and face of a goddess she possesses" is a little much. If you presented more images and less telling, you might have a poem in here.

traditional and sweet. nicely done.

What is it with all the ellipsoidal use? Are you hanging with jangle jack? A line break is a sufficient pause I think. The...gives more of an impression of tapering off into infinity. The poem reminds me of panty hose for some reason.

may work better as freeform--the images are nice.

yes. yes.

This is really goddamn good. wow and stuff.

so deftly done. so hungry. so thoughtless. so ubiquitous. i like.

i certainly wouldn't write THIS poem about it.