<~>
on some deleted poem
11 Aug 2002, 7:44 PM
you may be able to rhyme, but perhaps you might check your spelling before you make such a braggadocious claim
THIS IS THE BEST ONE I HAVE EVER READ! I LOVE IT!!!! KEP ON AMAZING ME WITH YOU POMS AND PLEASE DONT STOP WRITING I THINK UR POEMS ARE AMAZING!
I like the progression. I think historically haiku were supposed to be twinned with renga's to do something like this. (or something like that -- what do I know? :) I do like this.
oh so sweet
i like the imagery in stanza 2 very much, but feel like the rest is not nearly as tight
like it!!!!9/10
one is always dying unless they're dead.
so true!!!!!
THIS IS THE BEST ONE I HAVE EVER READ! I LOVE IT!!!! KEEP ON AMAZING ME WITH YOU POEMS AND PLEASE DONT STOP WRITING I THINK UR POEMS ARE AMAZING!
The words really feel like they were pounded to fit the rhmye and meter you wanted; very awkward to read.
Bla Bla Bla i came from a long traditon of poets. Bla Bla Bla they mean alot to me and others! Well i hate to breakl it to you i really dont care about your Little Haikus or poems and frankely i dont care for your poems!!!
Nice story line and well worded in some parts. Other parts seem to have weaker wording and I don't get the irregular capitalizations. 7
there are a total of 16 'I's in this poem, should have gone the extra mile and just done a simple sentence. such as......I am me and i and we, so there, and by the way i want more than you have to give, so i'll be moving on now.
Hey! Horus! Blow me! I kicked the old lady out, and momma says I gotta find a new one soon because the trailer needs a good cleaning. Can you cook? Send me your resume. ASAP.
dorkburger? that is what our evolved grunts and tongue clicks as neanderthals has become.first off, i don't believe babbit and gnosticville(whatever that name was) have even read a third of this wordman's work (d.a) cuz if you had you would have instantly realized that this poem is not a child's ode'd scribble in a pee-chee folder, but his way of holding a mirror to those of you that care to look and reflect...no indeed this is not his mind, but a collection of all the "sensitive" poets work on this site smashed into one(i wont name names) to put the shoes on anothers feet..and you belittle it? why? cuz he can cut the melon eight ways with one slice, be careful what your comments and votes here imply, cuz in irony alot of you are voting on your own work here not his. take a good look at yourselfs... you might write like this alot of the time(always) which was of course the effect he wished to convey all along. Sheer magic! afternoon groms, he has bested you again without besting. ponder that with your new velvet 'hoofs'e
the one thing I don't get... where's your other 'e' in poem? I thought that was a trademark thing...
I really don't know how to vote on this piece. It did what it was intending to do very well. And for that it gets high marks. But I can't say I like what it was trying to do (which is the whole point). So!? ... ? Eh. 9. It's brilliant in context. :)
I don't know. It was great up until the gardening. Then, well I had to kick my dog and take a shit. The phone rang. Momma made me flip her over so she wouldn't get sores again. All of a sudden I remembered. THE POEM! So I came running back to give you a 6 hopefully just enough to knock you outta the worst poetry catagory. Cuz you doesn't belong there. I does. And does. And do. Also you just might have accidentally cracked the space time continuem,
with that there code of yours, so drink plenty of milk and induce vomiting immediately.
eh.