Re: The Instructor by Alizarin_Crimson	Ranger 131.251.0.55	3-May-05/2:29 PM
dosh?
Re: PLEASE VOTE FOR MELANIE by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w	ho_hum 129.169.158.76	6-May-05/6:56 AM
Why not let dear Melanie know how you feel: melanie.mclean@gmail.com A bit late now, but I'm sure she'll appreciate the thought.
Re: Home by Dovina	jessicazee 152.163.100.135	3-May-05/2:29 PM
...P.P.S. beware accidental capitalization at line beginnings.
Re: Racism by Dovina	jessicazee 152.163.100.135	3-May-05/2:29 PM
Kind of confusing about "the six" and I think the possessive "tiger's" in line 1 doesn't work, however, I am attracted to the feeling of eyeing up the competition, and I want this to be longer.
Re: Waffleman by Stephen Robins	wFraser Allonby Q.C.w 195.157.153.249	3-May-05/2:29 PM
WTF?
Re: Grandma and Grandpa by jessicazee	thepinkbunnyofdoom 4.224.87.95	3-May-05/2:29 PM
The first verse I think could use a little more effort put into the meter. Everything else seems to flow naturally, written to be read out loud. Interesting Story telling. -9- <3 Jason
Re: PLEASE VOTE FOR MELANIE by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	3-May-05/2:29 PM
Vote for blonde, bubbly right winger? Or a fat lesbian minger? It's Mel for me, For she's the Tory, To make Peter Snow a swinger. Now that fat truck of a mess from labour! Why, only a body transplant could save her, The size of her belly, And her cunt's like a welly, Filled with communist jelly. The lib dem is as plain as a door, Without paint or other decor, Tax and spend is the vow, Of this skinny frau, She is easy to abhor.
Re: Cast a shadow. by darby pyn	fevriere 62.254.128.7	3-May-05/2:29 PM
No complaints. Hit between eyes and loss of all critical function. Thus this poem gets love.
Re: PLEASE VOTE FOR MELANIE by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w	thepinkbunnyofdoom 4.224.87.95	3-May-05/2:29 PM
Politics + Your Head = Gold I assume this is about some British Election coming up?
Re: Actor by horus8	Alizarin_Crimson 24.250.22.18	3-May-05/2:29 PM
By the end, I feel as though we've lost the original point. what is "fuck, a beard and a bow?" Is that the voice of the child, realizing the difficulty of pulling that off? And the story about the man...I guess I din't read that book...
Re: Ignorant Children by Stacy Stewart	Alizarin_Crimson 24.250.22.18	3-May-05/2:29 PM
1. I don't understand your choice of link breaks, to me it reads very erratically. 2. You are trying to make a point, which you could do in something that was half as long. 3. Rather than just spout them off. Think about how your individual words sound. Think about making this a POEM. Not bad for a start, with some editing, I think you'd have something.
Re: Waffleman by Stephen Robins	Alizarin_Crimson 24.250.22.18	3-May-05/2:29 PM
Again, I absolutely despise your work. And I know you'll take that as a compliment.
Re: chris (not finished yet) by eliznhaz	unknown^user 128.196.6.126	3-May-05/2:29 PM
Is "without out" in the first line a typo? You may want to considering adding line breaks, especially where things rhyme like at "me" and at "day." There needs to be some sort of punctuation between "around you" and "I got out."
Re: Ooooo..that smell by windyone	unknown^user 128.196.6.126	3-May-05/2:29 PM
Is this an addition to the Lynyrd Skynyrd song?
Re: Home by Dovina	nentwined 64.60.192.130	5-May-05/12:02 PM
testing comment date.
Re: PLEASE VOTE FOR MELANIE by wFraser Allonby Q.C.w	INTRANSIT 204.110.228.254	5-May-05/2:41 PM
" Stop reading Calvin Trillin" poetandknowit
Re: Ignorant Children by Stacy Stewart	thepinkbunnyofdoom 4.225.153.144	5-May-05/3:05 PM
Eh? It's long, and stops to really interest around the Religious remark. Really liked the following lines. "The Lawyers that must at times, swim against the hem of the sea; therefore meaning public opinion." There is controling your audience, and then there are failed attempts. This was a fairly good attempt. Like Alizarin_Crimson said a nice start, now trim it. Get to your point sooner, and if it's going to look this bulky, Reclassify it as a Prose Poem please. <3 Jason
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 69.175.32.185	6-May-05/11:14 AM
It's a manly thing to be in charge, control the relationship, and I usually feel a romantic submissiveness when he does. But sometimes I want my own way. When I have insisted on my way too often, then shadows of regret cloud the present. Good poem.
Re: Pine Boxes (revised) by Joe-joe	Dovina 69.175.32.185	6-May-05/12:06 PM
A few too many words - supreme in line 2, of in line 6
Re: My Life by RION12	zodiac 212.118.19.111	7-May-05/4:49 AM
Your parents will always be there for me.