Re: "America The Beautiful" by jroday	zodiac 212.118.11.13	16-Mar-05/9:36 PM
Trust me, America is the best thing ever.
regarding some deleted poem...	dancin_n_da_moonlite 205.188.116.139	16-Mar-05/5:49 PM
not to be ruede but your rudamentary rhyming turns me off immediatley............... -megan
regarding some deleted poem...	dancin_n_da_moonlite 205.188.116.139	16-Mar-05/5:50 PM
i really like this [cept for the republican part..:)] -megan
Re: Nicholas Martin by horus8	dancin_n_da_moonlite 205.188.116.139	16-Mar-05/5:51 PM
never knew him - now i cant -
Re: Out Doubt! by wlshepherd	dancin_n_da_moonlite 205.188.116.139	16-Mar-05/5:53 PM
large word cant save a poem - 5
Re: "America The Beautiful" by jroday	Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199	17-Mar-05/5:39 AM
That it is a fantastic anthem for all the confused members of the human race. Your various points seem to be: 1) America spends more on space travel than finding a cure for disease. I believe US companies would love to find a cure for AIDS and cancer as it would make them more money - I don't believe there is a direct correlation between the budgets of NASA and Pfizer. 2) Because America is wealthy it should not have homeless people. Bow'ls. 3) The law backs the wealthy against the "people". Bernie Ebbers would probably back you right to the point where he goes down for 80 years. 4) By invading a despotic state whose main aim was to cause as much turbulence in the Middle East as possible the safety and security of the United states has been in some way compromised. How many terrorist bombings have there been in the USA since the overthrow of the regimes in Iraq and Afghanistan? 5) Never has the USA been more united never has a president received such an enhanced majority in favour of his previous term in office, never have so few disgruntled lefties whinged quite so loudly. -10-
Re: "America The Beautiful" by jroday	Dovina 12.72.5.123	17-Mar-05/7:37 AM
According to tradition, it's the young who raise rabble and carry signs with four letter words and protest everything the establishment is doing. Unless you're younger than I think, we have here an exception, an atypical bandstaner, a non-stereotype. Rant on!
Re: Clouds by dancin_n_da_moonlite	Dan garcia-Black 66.159.205.199	17-Mar-05/8:22 AM
This style of creating a mood followed by quick jab of insight at the end is very enjoyable. "I like the clouds. I want my head, in the clouds, My job is..." Would make you sound more certain of your conclusion but might ruin the mood. -10- is in the clouds.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dan garcia-Black 66.159.205.199	17-Mar-05/8:32 AM
I have a poem that comes from lights called "Star Bright." Your poem is about the beauty of the lights.It's the opposite mine. I enjoyed your conclusion much more than mine. Shuushin is ussually "right on" in his comments. But if it is the use of the word beauty that is bothersome, I don't understand. I see "beauty-beautiful" used only twice. Have you edited this work since the comment was made?
regarding some deleted poem...	thisismyusername 64.136.27.225	17-Mar-05/12:11 PM
i thought it was awesome!
Re: Drinking before noon with Bukowski by Beyond_Dreams	Dovina 12.72.11.42	17-Mar-05/1:03 PM
You’ve encountered the typical American man. I’ve been told on good authority that if you don’t do it, they don’t want you. I’ve met several who walked away for the same reason. But I have to confess that his hand slipping under my skirt to my knee, or a little past, aroused tender desires, mostly the kind that wanted to give a hug to a lonely man. And I still believe that’s what he’d want if he could sort out his feelings. That’s why I don’t give up.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 12.72.11.42	17-Mar-05/1:07 PM
Not bad. Wordy in places, but not bad. One of your best.
Re: Pain by camperdfl	Dovina 12.72.11.42	17-Mar-05/1:10 PM
Not a limerick. Would be stronger without the first word in each line, Lies/Cries/Screams . . .
Re: The Ususal Love Stuff by Dreammaker1024	Dovina 12.72.11.42	17-Mar-05/1:12 PM
Strange how the usual love stuff is so unusual and new. Just try to say it with a lot less words.
regarding some deleted poem...	thepinkbunnyofdoom 4.224.18.220	17-Mar-05/2:27 PM
lol. Much better writing. Incase you can't tell, I'm smiling alot as I write this. -10-
regarding some deleted poem...	thepinkbunnyofdoom 4.224.18.220	17-Mar-05/2:37 PM
Your right. Everyone of those building have stories to tell. After all, Hamilton! was once known for its smugglers, murders, and drugs/acholol(Prohibition Era). If that basement could talk........ Lets just say the voice would be very mellow. -8- The ending feels rushed compared to the lush details, of the other lines. A good ending none the less. <3 Jason
Re: Knowledge by the_poetess	thepinkbunnyofdoom 4.224.18.220	17-Mar-05/3:11 PM
I know things now, now I can't be a believer, now I can't look at the sky without crying, can't look at the stars without mourning the loss of my ancestors. Lose it, and use shoes to carry you to a close as it were. You had me until that verse. Try using your words to sculpt an image that says what you mean here, without being tediously long, or losing meaning. An improvement by FAR from the last time I read on of yours. -7-. Everything else works fairly well. <3 Jason
Re: Memory by chocolate9009	chocolate9009 12.223.76.187	17-Mar-05/5:13 PM
i ran into a wall
Re: Memory by chocolate9009	Dovina 17.255.240.138	17-Mar-05/5:30 PM
I can see you ran into a wall without your saying so. And the spacing is just distracting. Other than that it's not bad.
Re: Memory by chocolate9009	edpeterson 68.79.58.40	17-Mar-05/7:36 PM
ROFLMMFAO