| Re: Social Awarness by midnitebeauty101 |
tadpole 24.55.116.186 |
16-Mar-05/5:19 PM |
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| Re: Love Greased by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
dancin_n_da_moonlite 205.188.116.139 |
16-Mar-05/5:48 PM |
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well endowed lie? that is something I don't hear often......
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| Re: This path by midnitebeauty101 |
tadpole 24.55.116.186 |
16-Mar-05/5:18 PM |
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I don't sense much feeling in the poem, but I bet you have a lot more you could put into it?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
richa 81.178.245.63 |
16-Mar-05/3:05 AM |
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Not overly enamoured with 'itâs reality check hangover.' It is needlessy prosaic and particularly vague. Other than that ace.
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| Re: Sleeping Beauty by fevriere |
richa 81.178.245.63 |
16-Mar-05/3:12 AM |
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Cute. Except that two lines seem to have inexplicably become detached from both the first and second verses of this two verse poem.
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| Re: JJâs Church by Dovina |
poodietat 68.51.106.137 |
15-Mar-05/10:11 AM |
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What's this about? Since the elders are setting "tables," there must be quite a few of them (since the poem mentions 1 paritioner, 1 administrator, and 1 pastor). Is the poem about the otherizing -- everyone but you is an elder/pastor/administrator? Like your other religious-themed poetry, I'm afraid the meaning is lost on me.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dovina 12.72.10.39 |
15-Mar-05/12:43 PM |
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Yes, I believe it was, and about time too.
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| Re: Burnt by Dreammaker1024 |
Dovina 12.72.10.39 |
15-Mar-05/1:04 PM |
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Delilah was needed to cut Sampson's hair. Judas was needed to betray Jesus. Two thieves needed to be crucified beside Him. So it seems.
Try spacing this out and defining the thoughts into verses, and then see if it really makes sense, or maybe a step toward something else.
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| Re: The Measurement by thepinkbunnyofdoom |
edpeterson 68.79.58.40 |
16-Mar-05/6:08 AM |
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Some sort of concrete imagery would not hurt this. I feel left out.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Rainbow_chaser 64.229.169.52 |
16-Mar-05/6:29 AM |
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Well I've come to find you to be a completly selfish, judgemetal, ass. I must say i rather enjoyed your poem.
Very vivid.
Good job
~9~
~Autumn
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| Re: JJâs Church by Dovina |
Dan garcia-Black 66.218.59.216 |
16-Mar-05/8:10 AM |
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I'll never go to another steakhouse bar and feel secular again. JJ's Steakhouse Church is a holey (sic) place
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| Re: The Glass by dancin_n_da_moonlite |
Dan garcia-Black 66.218.59.216 |
16-Mar-05/8:16 AM |
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We all see the world through glass. I see it through the glass of a wine bottle. Sometimes I see the world through the glass of the Cathode Ray Tube. Glass is(at least)obvious where our own prejudices and cultural filters are not.
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| Re: Death is a Three Step Process by dancin_n_da_moonlite |
Dan garcia-Black 66.218.59.216 |
16-Mar-05/8:19 AM |
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Good work on an easy form made difficult (and better}.
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| Re: Thinking by dancin_n_da_moonlite |
Dan garcia-Black 66.218.59.216 |
16-Mar-05/8:22 AM |
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You are. Maybe that will be enough. If I were writing this one I would have screwed it up at the end with some trite comment about someone passing the joint or bottle over to me. Good thing you wrote it instead.
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| Re: JJâs Church by Dovina |
thepinkbunnyofdoom 4.224.87.166 |
16-Mar-05/10:58 AM |
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What are you using as "substitutionary bread" in a bar? Pretzels?
Other than that(My own silly curious nature), good comparison.
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| Re: Zin/Enough/Things/Squeeze/Flow by gregsamsa222 |
Rainbow_chaser 64.229.169.52 |
16-Mar-05/12:18 PM |
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WOW! I'm lacking anything to say, other then this poem is brilliant. So touching, so deep. utterly amazing, I disagree with the comments of it being to lengthly. Perfection is all i can think of.
****10****
~Autumn
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
dancin_n_da_moonlite 205.188.116.139 |
16-Mar-05/5:45 PM |
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unlikely though that would be intersting (last verse) nice though i really like this
-megan
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
dancin_n_da_moonlite 152.163.100.135 |
16-Mar-05/2:57 PM |
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| Re: "America The Beautiful" by jroday |
dancin_n_da_moonlite 152.163.100.135 |
16-Mar-05/3:00 PM |
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idealism is nice - but will it put bread on the tables of all these people u discuss?
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| Re: Broken by midnitebeauty101 |
tadpole 24.55.116.186 |
16-Mar-05/5:16 PM |
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I really like the first 6 lines, and the last four lines except the very last one . . .I'll have to check out some of your other poems eh
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