never do a sequel man.

I like what you've done here Dovina. The only thing that seems off is the word "gobs." Everything else works fine.

I have always been impressed by your metaphors and there are some good ones in this piece.

very lovely poem, the feelings were expressed adequately, nice flow and rhyme.

very deep and emotional poem, I liked a lot, can relate to the feelings expressed. I didn't like the format of how it is laid out, i dont think the lines should run out so far, the only other critique is the line that ends in yay! don't like yay! any way I enjoyed the read.

I like the parallel last lines of V1 and V3. Good throughout, except: What have you got against punctuation in last line of V2, since you use it throughout?

Very spare. Too spare I think. First verse is good. "creating moments" is overused, especially standing alone. "issues slick"?

I repeated "a stranger warmly fed" a few times out loud. Good feelings. Didn't love "as sickly kids in Pakistan" (to clarify, I LOVE those kids), but not sure your specificity there works. Last stanza's first two lines are as striking and good-ending-y as it comes, but the last line seems out-of-place? Really liked this, thanks for making me think, inspirational. 9

5th Stanza will court controversy and as its an opinion of the writers you may be asked by some to elaborate on it. Like baby in the hay but dont like sickly kids in.... Line 2 needs to end with - is, or a link to next line. I think you can say this shorter with more impact and leave out your thoughts and write from a neutral ground.

Very generic and exclusive for two. It totally lacks originality and rhyming does not validate it as a poem.

Weird, Chauceresque.

Goes on a bit but how it all connects stanza to stanza plus the fact that it engaged me has to be thumbs up and not two fingers. Reads well.

bang.

Is this a joke?

As appealing as britneys hole.

Limp.

bbbbblllllllliiiiiiibbbbbb

CODE? Yes, yes it is so clear now. Watch Deal or no Deal!

I'M GLAD!

This is SHIT!