Re: Remembrance by dragonfly	poetryman 66.173.175.21	8-Nov-04/4:40 PM
very nice, a loved one never really leaves us for they remain close to our hearts and memories....Bob:)
Re: Just Shut Up! Everyone Just Shut Up! by MacFrantic	edpeterson 68.79.60.123	8-Nov-04/3:18 PM
I love drunken diatribes. ONly reason to go, really. I have to give this a 10, just for "meatballism"
Re: keep on digging by nentwined	edpeterson 68.79.60.123	8-Nov-04/3:15 PM
I would cut the "they" from the second line, making the statement imperative. Did i just read "a list of diggables" ? Do my eyes deceive me? I dig it. (sorry)
Re: Silly sickness by fevriere	nentwined 66.92.28.14	8-Nov-04/4:51 PM
I get the overwhelmed but not much else. Guesses, but they're pretty random.
Re: In the Land of Bob by Bobjim	RGSsparky 128.243.220.21	8-Nov-04/4:47 PM
I love how this turned out. Physics put to good use :D Made me laugh, esp the end bit. Hurrar. The Sparky
Re: Geese by large_geese	RGSsparky 128.243.220.21	8-Nov-04/4:52 PM
We love large_geese, that is to say, i do and so does me. As long as its not in ham eh eh..........oh. :s
Re: Down by phauge	nentwined 66.92.183.34	8-Nov-04/7:52 PM
is there anything in particular you're trying to convey with this?
Re: Where I work by phauge	nentwined 66.92.183.34	8-Nov-04/7:53 PM
go clock go. :)
Re: Damage by Caducus	poetryman 66.173.175.21	8-Nov-04/4:44 PM
an awesome piece as far as learned behavior is concerned, the vicious cycles of life need to be broken by those who are mentally stronger, the story is sad, but well told, don't be a victim by creating victims....God Bless....Bob:)
Re: Panic by Bobjim	RGSsparky 128.243.220.21	8-Nov-04/4:45 PM
Bobjim, you rule, keep up the poetic geniusness ness, loch ness monster ness. Wolfey beat government!
Re: Title by large_geese	RGSsparky 128.243.220.21	8-Nov-04/4:49 PM
Amazing, who'd have thought that such words as body, you and ranking could be placed so spectacularly at the end of lines 1, 2 and 3. Marvelous.
Re: Mind's Eye by Sean Allen	Dovina 69.175.6.101	8-Nov-04/7:55 PM
I think you could make this into a better poem by forgetting that someone told you villanelles are cool.
Re: The Sparky by RGSsparky	RGSsparky 128.243.220.21	8-Nov-04/5:00 PM
Uni coursework spawned my first creation, please slate it. I love you all, except you, you, you and you:D The Sparky
Re: The Roses by poetryman	Sasha 69.138.240.116	8-Nov-04/5:01 PM
Extremely campy, an example of the botanical mawkishness with which all mediocre poets are to some degree suffused. Sorry to break it to you but this poem isn't great. Poems about flowers are tired and pallid. I have a feeling you're going to retaliate with "well I write about what I want to write about...etc. etc." Fine, but understand that I've read third-rate poems like this by the dozen. I'm not trying to be a curmudgeon, just honest. My sympathy begets you a 6
regarding some deleted poem...	Sean Allen 4.46.107.39	8-Nov-04/5:04 PM
That was a very good villanelle, and it followed the rules very closely. My only comment/criticism is that most villanelles are supposed to incorporate a shift in meaning or tone from the beginning to the end. The shift usually begins in the fourth stanza. I wasn't really able to detect the abovementioned shift, but it really isn't that big of a deal at all.
Re: Stayed Too Long by poetryman	Sasha 69.138.240.116	8-Nov-04/5:08 PM
I dont know if you understand what a prose poem is, but this poem is not in prose. The insipid religiousness is not at all to my taste, but I wont bother commenting on it. The "heart/apart" rhyme is simply clumsy. It is things like that free-verse proponents point to and laugh at when they have their derisory little diatribes on rhyme. The last line or two are okay I guess. The above/love rhyme is terrible. As far as I know English is cursed with quite a paucity of perfect rhymes for love: above, of, "dove" if you feel like raiding the dovecots of the muse and "shove" or "glove" if the thought can be made to absorb either, and Russian names like "Lermontov" and "Nochnikov." Anyway, it's generally a good idea not to have to rhyme on love. Okay I'm done.
Re: Mind's Eye by Sean Allen	Sasha 69.138.240.116	8-Nov-04/5:11 PM
Points for trying. Though you might want to look up the meaning of "iambic pentameter." You seem to have forgotten the Iambic part.
Re: Stayed Too Long by poetryman	Olivia22 24.21.18.211	8-Nov-04/5:22 PM
This poem is so amazing, and very realistic. I lvoe you comment at the bottom how any male who abuses a child or women does not deserve the title of a man. I love it.
regarding some deleted poem...	poetryman 66.173.175.21	8-Nov-04/6:08 PM
Just wanted to see what kind of stuff you write, considering you blasted mine, however in all fairness I found this to be an awesome piece and have never seen a tear expressed this way before, good job....Bob:)
Re: Dark Everlasting by Sean Allen	Dovina 69.175.6.101	8-Nov-04/7:51 PM
This is pretty good. I hope the last line is not about suicide, because if it is, then I take it back. The first verse is good. The last line of the second verse seems not to follow the theme. "and regret"??? "You can't see me so you forget." - why?