| Re: Beyond Love by Dovina |
Dan garcia-Black 66.159.205.73 |
8-Nov-04/8:31 AM |
|
Good but could be great if it weren't so hopeful.
|
|
|
 |
| Re: Caducus (destined to fall) by Caducus |
Dovina 69.175.6.101 |
8-Nov-04/10:12 AM |
|
The first verse is great, except for heavenly mirth. It's all pretty good.
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dovina 69.175.6.101 |
8-Nov-04/10:22 AM |
|
An Emily Dickenson approach to explicit infatuation.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Smoke by zodiac |
Dovina 69.175.6.101 |
8-Nov-04/10:27 AM |
|
Such a complex way of talking. My head hurts.
|
|
|
|
| Re: The huntsman's shame by Stephen Robins |
Dovina 69.175.6.101 |
8-Nov-04/10:32 AM |
|
And with this statement, England declared war on Los Angeles today, asserting itself as the most lewd.
|
|
|
|
| Re: The huntsman's shame by Stephen Robins |
Bachus 24.130.62.63 |
8-Nov-04/12:44 PM |
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
nentwined 66.92.28.14 |
8-Nov-04/12:52 PM |
|
While this has some words I truly love, they don't seem particularly poignant in their usage. This is a poem of cliches (every line!?), and while I have to hope that was the point, I'm missing any deeper meaning.
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
nentwined 66.92.28.14 |
8-Nov-04/12:54 PM |
|
that's about all there is to be said for that.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Smoke by zodiac |
nentwined 66.92.28.14 |
8-Nov-04/12:56 PM |
|
Head hurts, yes. Can't quite follow every line. Yet I like it greatly. I think I've got a measure of the whole of it. No suggestions on where I fall. Something to be read and re-read.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Bad Year by Miggy |
nentwined 66.92.28.14 |
8-Nov-04/12:58 PM |
|
I'm afraid I can't tell what you're saying here.
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
nentwined 66.92.28.14 |
8-Nov-04/1:04 PM |
|
|
|
| Re: The huntsman's shame by Stephen Robins |
nentwined 66.92.28.14 |
8-Nov-04/1:10 PM |
|
congratulations. first 0 I've read in some time. :)
|
|
|
|
| Re: Daddy's Never There by angelmami17 |
nentwined 66.92.28.14 |
8-Nov-04/1:11 PM |
|
|
|
| Re: Beyond Love by Dovina |
nentwined 66.92.28.14 |
8-Nov-04/1:31 PM |
|
This needs more development for me. I want to experience vicariously the depths of ennui.
|
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
nentwined 66.92.28.14 |
8-Nov-04/1:32 PM |
|
|
|
| Re: Heather Graham by Bachus |
nentwined 66.92.28.14 |
8-Nov-04/1:34 PM |
|
|
|
| regarding some deleted poem... |
nentwined 66.92.28.14 |
8-Nov-04/1:38 PM |
|
yes. almost very yes. cadence s2 is off, for me. the image s1 (making the tigers drink from you?) is stranger than the rest. Though ... I see it. But it's still far stranger than the rest. Why must she have seen you weep? How she's acting must be derived from that, or just because she couldn't have missed it? s4 has pretty lines, but they don't gel for me. cadence off a bit as well. Where the piece runs to is beauty (dead as dead can be a bit flat itself, but works).
|
|
|
|
| Re: Grandma's Prayer/Lord Reply by jroday |
nentwined 66.92.28.14 |
8-Nov-04/1:40 PM |
|
cute last line with the setup. weak setup.
|
|
|
|
| Re: keep on digging by nentwined |
Dovina 69.175.6.101 |
8-Nov-04/2:21 PM |
|
Gold is down there too, and a host of unseen and unseeable magnets. Digging can mean all these things and more. It seems like a listing of diggables.
|
|
|
|
| Re: Just Shut Up! Everyone Just Shut Up! by MacFrantic |
Dovina 69.175.6.101 |
8-Nov-04/2:24 PM |
|
Good, except for the diatribe title and first line. It's better to remain subtle.
|
|
|
|
