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CommentsComments 1561–1580 back. Include replies to comments

some deleted user on A Cyclamatic Word of Advice by Skamper 22 Nov 2007, 5:25 AM
Great stuff skamper--the first stanza really sets the tone for the rest of the poem. Nice work.
INTRANSIT on The Dung Beetles by Pappa 23 Nov 2007, 12:57 PM
Ok. So I'm making a connection between dung beetles and humans, but not much else. What is the technical description of an Englyn? Welcome to Das 'Ranker!
INTRANSIT on Stringed by thetrev 23 Nov 2007, 12:58 PM
Bizarrly good.
INTRANSIT on some deleted poem 23 Nov 2007, 1:03 PM
The focus on hand holding is very likeable. Different line breaks, and some more editing would be good. The spice is right, just stir it some more.
malpaso on WASTED by titan69 21 Nov 2007, 5:22 PM
shit!!!!
some deleted user on Bottle collection by INTRANSIT 22 Nov 2007, 5:20 AM
I like this INTRANSIT. you have taken something innocuous and gven it life-- "A june-bug scotch drunk" is a great line. Good work. BTW, it seems like you and skamper are the only ones to comment and vote on this site anymore. Whats up with that?
some deleted user on Tingling by INTRANSIT 22 Nov 2007, 5:35 AM
The imagery in this poem is fabulous--which is no surprise coming from you--imagery is something you seem to have mastered quite well.
INTRANSIT on Heroes to the End by sliver 22 Nov 2007, 12:41 PM
Technically, L-11 each day with loss L-12 -that's hard to justify. Otherwise, Amen
INTRANSIT on Death and the black dog by Caducus 22 Nov 2007, 12:45 PM
I sense expectation of death in the first two stanzas. Um, I'm not going to comment just yet. I think there's more you want to say. Let it ferment, C.
INTRANSIT on What ever happend to Kelly Green? by titan69 22 Nov 2007, 12:47 PM
True story or not, put your back into it, man. This is an easy 9. But not yet.
Skamper on Bottle collection by INTRANSIT 22 Nov 2007, 1:05 PM
I've just finished a book where the husband was a bottle collector - he had loads of them, proudly displayed and affectionately restored...at the end of the book the wife smashed every one of them. Not that this has anything to do with your poem, apart from coincidence to me... This poem is perfect in it's quiet way, love it.
Skamper on some deleted poem 22 Nov 2007, 1:14 PM
LOL...sibling rivalry
malpaso on A Cyclamatic Word of Advice by Skamper 22 Nov 2007, 1:22 PM
I would hate to be the one on the other end of THAT laser. Hey is this website in the UK?
Pappa on The Dung Beetles by Pappa 23 Nov 2007, 2:59 AM
This is actually an Englyn, not free verse.
Skamper on What bianca saw!!! by titan69 19 Nov 2007, 7:48 PM
argh! get the sylable count right - if you are going to write in limerick, find the rhythm... snaps for the ranker/wanker rhyme
Skamper on What the fuck is a HAIKU anyway? by titan69 19 Nov 2007, 7:51 PM
drop the yoda instructions - add 'a' between writes and load... you definately have a way with....titles...
INTRANSIT on A Cyclamatic Word of Advice by Skamper 20 Nov 2007, 8:02 AM
Cyclamatic ? Wow. There's a word. Say, is it just me, or do I rely way too much on images to do my speaking for me? This is really good Skamper. Not sure about that -maybe-.
titan69 on this is what I see by malpaso 20 Nov 2007, 1:47 PM
shit!!!!
INTRANSIT on A Cyclamatic Word of Advice by Skamper 21 Nov 2007, 6:18 AM
This reminds me of one I wrote where a woman gives back an engagement ring. And his rib.
INTRANSIT on Sisters of mercy by titan69 21 Nov 2007, 6:22 AM
your stile? that much is right.