| Re: Northern lights by Mr Pig |
wFraser Allonby Q.C.w 195.157.153.253 |
30-Sep-04/4:35 AM |
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East of Aberdeen,
from grey orb to pink hued sea
man and God yogurt.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
wFraser Allonby Q.C.w 195.157.153.253 |
30-Sep-04/4:38 AM |
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Read this poem aloud whilst doing an impression of Samuel L. Jackson
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| Re: Cold Afternoon. by Sasha |
maffy 81.130.183.10 |
30-Sep-04/5:25 AM |
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| Re: Cold Afternoon. by Sasha |
maffy 81.130.183.10 |
30-Sep-04/5:25 AM |
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last 2 lines do not rhyme on a sonnet
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Sasha 69.138.240.116 |
29-Sep-04/4:40 PM |
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I know how much you love your poetry. Really. Showing it in shameless self-votes, however, isn't the best way.
Now onto the poem.
I read this poem (or one very much like it) in some chicken soup book. I also read it in an anthology of "best teen writers" and also in a terrible poetry unit of highschool way way back.
So, you get a -10- for being unoriginal on a whole new level.
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| Re: Dance Of Insanity by forsaken |
Sasha 69.138.240.116 |
29-Sep-04/4:49 PM |
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you mistyped "apart" unless you mean you ripped him to pieces, and then pulled him a part of the body you had just ripped as a going away present.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
wilco 4.227.44.15 |
29-Sep-04/7:35 PM |
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I keep thinking of Peter Gabriel with this one. Maybe a different title and lessening the repetition of "in your eyes" would help.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
wilco 4.227.44.15 |
29-Sep-04/7:37 PM |
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I like it but I
d actually like to see a little more.
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| Re: Many Thanks by Dovina |
wilco 4.227.44.15 |
29-Sep-04/7:45 PM |
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I was wondering where you've been.
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| Re: Bridesmaids in the Rain by wilco |
Special Needs 130.216.191.183 |
29-Sep-04/9:40 PM |
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| Re: Put it away! by Special Needs |
That One 68.123.215.216 |
29-Sep-04/10:17 PM |
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| Re: Bridesmaids in the Rain by wilco |
That One 68.123.215.216 |
29-Sep-04/10:19 PM |
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leaves little room for imagination
"last of the first glass" good line
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| Re: peeper's envy by That One |
Prince of Void 83.170.55.136 |
29-Sep-04/11:20 PM |
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| Re: Put it away! by Special Needs |
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 81.154.163.133 |
30-Sep-04/4:07 AM |
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Lactation is not a form of excretion. You should have written 'secrete' instead. For that, I'm appalled.
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| Re: A season of construction by fair12 |
maffy 81.130.183.10 |
30-Sep-04/5:26 AM |
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kind of dinged my dong :7
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Caducus 81.130.183.10 |
30-Sep-04/5:29 AM |
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wilco has a point but it has a charm and resonance just lose the 'I' repetition, 2nd stanza's cool.
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| Re: Amputee by INTRANSIT |
Caducus 81.130.183.10 |
30-Sep-04/6:46 AM |
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you crack me up. i would give you my left and right arms if i could've wrote this.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Caducus 81.130.183.10 |
30-Sep-04/6:48 AM |
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| Re: Swedish Au Pair by scitz |
INTRANSIT 64.12.116.70 |
30-Sep-04/6:51 AM |
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"but that's normal aint it, Norman?"
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| Re: Northern lights by Mr Pig |
INTRANSIT 64.12.116.70 |
30-Sep-04/6:52 AM |
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kids with watercolors paint the smog.
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