| Re: Rapid Eye Movement by wilco |
FadedHappiness 216.76.238.180 |
25-Aug-04/4:29 AM |
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| Re: The Girl Who Wasn't Me by psychedelic |
FadedHappiness 216.76.238.180 |
25-Aug-04/4:31 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Jeremi B. Handrinos 24.130.62.63 |
24-Aug-04/11:52 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
some deleted user 147.226.157.133 |
24-Aug-04/11:42 AM |
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| Re: A Stitch In Time by Dovina |
sliver 205.188.116.140 |
24-Aug-04/7:59 PM |
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| Re: Anthony & Kimberly by Brandy_n_Cali |
leonxic 80.205.204.54 |
24-Aug-04/10:41 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dovina 24.52.157.176 |
24-Aug-04/5:42 PM |
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First verse is great. The rest needs direction.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
wilco 4.226.171.233 |
24-Aug-04/4:54 PM |
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The best I've seen from you in a while, my friend.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
klosterfobik 64.12.116.140 |
24-Aug-04/5:25 PM |
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I do like this particular poem,but I really love
the idea behind it.It could be awesome with just a bit
of revision. -9-
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| Re: Rapid Eye Movement by wilco |
Dovina 24.52.157.176 |
24-Aug-04/7:12 PM |
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Eyes moving about while the lids are closed. She's upset. I hate those kinda nights. Good poem.
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| Re: Eagledale Drive by klosterfobik |
Dovina 24.52.157.176 |
24-Aug-04/5:34 PM |
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A nostalgic neighborhood tour with lots of questions for one not acquainted with yours. Mine is very clear too.
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| Re: Penumbra by klosterfobik |
Dan garcia-Black 68.120.43.145 |
24-Aug-04/7:43 PM |
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All us stoke victims know all about the Penumbra. -9-
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
sliver 205.188.116.140 |
24-Aug-04/7:48 PM |
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I just started a poem with this thought last night.
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| Re: Penumbra by klosterfobik |
Dovina 24.52.157.176 |
24-Aug-04/5:39 PM |
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Even the doorknob becomes grief when grief is there. "The stoic moon shares it's lonely glow as if it knows."
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| Re: Out Of My Mind by Enchantres |
Jeremi B. Handrinos 24.130.62.63 |
24-Aug-04/11:54 PM |
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Yep, "there's a thunder" brewing below my chaps.
It's almost my turn in the pie aborting contest.
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| Re: A Piñon Planter by Dovina |
Dan garcia-Black 68.120.43.145 |
24-Aug-04/7:40 PM |
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I printed this poem out and went to the restroom to read it. As it came to it's climax, my nut-filled bowl came to its own. Oh was that bowel? Nuts! Good. No, really! -10- Now I'll go back to wipe.
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| Re: Rapid Eye Movement by wilco |
Dan garcia-Black 68.120.43.145 |
24-Aug-04/7:56 PM |
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Nothing makes the night seem lonely "like" the soft fluttering in her shuttered eyes. This structure seems awkward to me. I know that "Nothing says lovin' like something from the oven and Pillsbury says it best" but, perhaps, a more direct approach to say this important thing? "The night is made more lonely by the soft, etc." You are the creator. Let not my will but yours be done. Even with the slightly uncomfortable second coming (stanza), it is very evocative of 13 years of nights spent with my ex-wife. -10-
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| Re: On the Discovery of Nogoodnicks and Graphite Under the Nail by MacFrantic |
leonxic 80.205.204.54 |
24-Aug-04/10:32 AM |
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| Re: Let Go by New Life Drug |
leonxic 80.205.204.54 |
24-Aug-04/10:35 AM |
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You should save up money to buy a keyboard with a shift button. 3.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
leonxic 80.205.204.54 |
24-Aug-04/10:38 AM |
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