Re: I Can't Move On by Sirens_Voice	kalikopeli 63.241.65.90	15-Aug-04/8:20 PM
Move on and seek closure
Re: I Can't Move On by Sirens_Voice	Miggy 207.38.251.61	15-Aug-04/4:43 PM
nice...just nice, keep writing
Re: The Grand Adjustment by horus8	klosterfobik 205.188.116.141	15-Aug-04/6:26 AM
Do you sell cars?
Re: Inquietude by klosterfobik	Dovina 24.52.157.176	15-Aug-04/3:49 PM
The last 4 lines are especially nice.
Re: Contemplation Of The Heart by kalikopeli	kalikopeli 63.241.65.90	15-Aug-04/8:55 PM
I still think it's one of my bests.
regarding some deleted poem...	Mr Pig 195.92.168.178	15-Aug-04/7:46 AM
By jove this is dandy. One would remove the repetitiomn of 'i' in last stanza my boy.
Re: Bugs by INTRANSIT	Mr Pig 195.92.168.178	15-Aug-04/7:48 AM
Blast ! this is hot diggity dog a wonderful accomplishment, starlkly original.
Re: My Swarthy Bane by MacFrantic	MacFrantic 198.81.26.16	15-Aug-04/8:12 PM
thanks, this much I-------------------------------I
regarding some deleted poem...	klosterfobik 205.188.116.141	15-Aug-04/2:08 PM
Well done son - I gave it a nine. Could use just a bit of amendment.
Re: Guess the place! by Patsy	Patsy 68.151.3.48	15-Aug-04/3:55 PM
Oops. Dilapidated. Anything else? i could find anything, so.
regarding some deleted poem...	Dovina 24.52.157.176	15-Aug-04/2:00 PM
The ending's a sad an pleasant irony. Caps at line starts seem formal for a story poem
Re: My Swarthy Bane by MacFrantic	Dovina 24.52.157.176	15-Aug-04/3:55 PM
The last 2 verses could stand better alone. Try leaving out "it is"
Re: I Can't Move On by Sirens_Voice	klosterfobik 205.188.116.141	15-Aug-04/4:39 PM
the ending is good - try a little amending though. -8-
Re: Outcome by Miggy	Sirens_Voice 162.84.247.162	15-Aug-04/4:22 PM
I like it, its really nice and I understand it soo much. Great Job!
Re: Falling Alone by FadedHappiness	Dovina 24.52.157.176	15-Aug-04/5:47 PM
To the one you hung up on, This is not bad at all. Surprised? Not being noticed by someone who should care is a very sad feeling. Sometimes the only one who takes notice is one who should not rightly care. Therein lies the gold in an otherwise sandy desert that it's best to get used to. "existed" "No one"
regarding some deleted poem...	arduinn 165.21.83.240	15-Aug-04/3:41 AM
All the words seem to fall into their places nicely.. -9-
regarding some deleted poem...	klosterfobik 205.188.116.141	15-Aug-04/6:23 AM
Nice feeling but the words could be more powerful - I liked it though it could use revision. -7-
Re: Outcome by Miggy	MacFrantic 198.81.26.16	15-Aug-04/1:38 AM
I'll be honest...I didn't read it *6* Now I'll be dishonest...Keanu Reeves is a prolific pioneer of well acted films, and he should refrain from having his vocal cords and face burned/lacerated by chemicals, prefferably in pill form, blue or red. (I love irony)
Re: Contemplation Of The Heart by kalikopeli	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 163.1.146.135	15-Aug-04/10:00 PM
Unbelievably appalling. I shan't comment further on the poetry, but will give you the following important Life Tip: an apostrophe usually indicates a missing letter(or letters). In the case of "wouldn't", the missing letter is the "o" of "not". That's how you know the apostrophe must be between the "n" and the "t". Not between the "d" and the "n". Demonstrate your understanding by correctly placing the apostrophe in the following words: wouldnt, couldnt, thats, theyre (4 marks)
regarding some deleted poem...	-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 163.1.146.135	15-Aug-04/4:04 AM
This poeme made me realise that the time to turn to Christ is now. You can't count on a death-bed repentance if you want to get into Heaven; by the time you're ready to know Jesus, it could all be too late. Then where will you be? God has given us all a chance to share eternity with Him. He made us so that we could worship Him as often as possible and then get into Heaven. He didn't make us to just sit around shunning Him the whole time. Sometimes I wonder why I don't always turn to Jesus, and I think it all comes down to a stubborn refusal to accept that there is a higher power out there, and that I am weak and sinful. What do you think?