| Re: The Finger of my Mind by sliver |
electroman1979 198.81.26.16 |
16-Aug-04/9:21 PM |
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| Re: Bon Voyage by Jeremi B. Handrinos |
FadedHappiness 65.81.217.220 |
16-Aug-04/4:37 PM |
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| Re: Corner of 30th and Tibbs by klosterfobik |
sliver 63.189.17.70 |
16-Aug-04/9:56 PM |
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Punctuation, 0
regret, 6
continuity, 2 {of again and shadows}?
intensity 8.
rewrite. total 6
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| Re: I Can't Move On by Sirens_Voice |
sliver 63.189.17.70 |
16-Aug-04/10:27 PM |
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Seems to stop. abruptly. once too many, times. rewrite.
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| Re: Sequel by MacFrantic |
sliver 63.189.17.70 |
16-Aug-04/10:30 PM |
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Keep writing about writing,
Have fat women sing,
If the waiters must come
Have them bring more bling bling
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| Re: Guilt Trip by thepinkbunnyofdoom |
sliver 63.189.17.70 |
16-Aug-04/10:25 PM |
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Ya know, I'd like to give this a zero, not because I don't like it, but for the 0's you've given me .. on better things. still, I think the o's are for others to come, but not from me.
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| Re: Society by QuirkyWonder |
bwickl11 67.119.227.58 |
16-Aug-04/4:30 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
ForgottenSoul17 65.81.217.220 |
16-Aug-04/4:44 PM |
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| Re: Navy Pier by Doug |
horus8 24.130.62.63 |
16-Aug-04/3:22 PM |
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Sure's better than the first, 8.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
FadedHappiness 65.81.217.220 |
16-Aug-04/6:39 PM |
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^^ *9* i like this very much! GOOD JOB
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| Re: Navy Pier by Doug |
Dan garcia-Black 66.159.205.32 |
16-Aug-04/9:24 AM |
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Imagery reminiscent of Sandburg? Are you a sandburger? -9-
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dovina 24.52.157.176 |
16-Aug-04/10:41 AM |
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An interesting comparison, poetically good, and perhaps statistically accurate. 600 light bulbs per person in LA? Do I commit murder with every downward flip of a switch?
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| Re: Secret Love by ForgottenSoul17 |
FadedHappiness 65.81.217.220 |
16-Aug-04/4:35 PM |
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*10* ^^ I understand it Rainy, You still have feelings for Adam, But your in love with Josh, .. you still like Adam, because love doesnt just fade away...I understand..wow mircale..hehe ^^
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
sliver 63.189.17.70 |
16-Aug-04/9:17 PM |
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Relocation? a well thought piece. enjoy those nocturnal ramblings my friend.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
sliver 63.189.17.70 |
16-Aug-04/9:20 PM |
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Life, yet again, in the fold. yes?
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
sliver 63.189.17.70 |
16-Aug-04/9:24 PM |
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And no man has the power.
Get it right squeek.
Mayby I should include a prayer eh?
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| Re: don't feel by caitydee |
sliver 63.189.17.70 |
16-Aug-04/9:48 PM |
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Damn caity, wasn't worth it at all, was it?
Readit again, out loud, maybe three times.
By the way, I meant the relationship, not the poem.
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| Re: Inquietude by klosterfobik |
Dan garcia-Black 66.159.205.32 |
16-Aug-04/9:41 AM |
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"How about the little blue pill of the protracted night?" JK
To me the center of the poem is:
"And I awaken to the dim hum
of my room's quiet seclusion,
And wonder where she sleeps tonight,
Wonder why our eager joining went so wrong,
Wonder if her delicate sweetness was ever given for free?"
It's never free, but it can sometimes be reasonable. -9-
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
sliver 63.189.17.70 |
16-Aug-04/9:43 PM |
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To lose one's wealth is sad indeed,
To lose one's health is more.
But to lose one's soul is such a loss;
That man can restore.
The present only is our own,
To live love, and toil,
With God's will
Place no faith in tomorrow,
For the clock may then be still.
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| Re: Contemplation Of The Heart by kalikopeli |
horus8 24.130.62.63 |
15-Aug-04/10:55 PM |
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"I still think it's one of my bests."
There you go thinking again.
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