| regarding some deleted poem... |
Bachus 24.130.62.63 |
13-Jun-04/6:08 PM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
zodiac 65.161.41.48 |
14-Jun-04/12:17 PM |
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It might tickle you to know that in Arabic Shin Shuu means "What path?"
- as famously represented in Surat 68 of the Quran: "The Day comes when the Shin shall be laid bare and the hypocrites shall be called to prostrate, but they shall not be able to do so; Their eyes will be cast down and ignominy will cover them."
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
DR Limerick 62.31.23.45 |
14-Jun-04/12:40 PM |
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you get lots of comments
but not many about your poem
it more like a chatroom!
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| Re: The Stickmen of Fools by embersandenvelopes |
zodiac 65.161.41.48 |
14-Jun-04/11:28 AM |
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Instead of bothering with such "layered", "multi-faceted" and "biting" "observations" on poemranker commenters, you'd do better to simply say we're all "hopeless gay introverts and onanists."
Just an idea!
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| Re: Hiding by QuirkyWonder |
Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199 |
14-Jun-04/5:30 AM |
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Hell's drooping anus enguffed this poem hole.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199 |
14-Jun-04/6:15 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
AuntyM 205.188.116.68 |
14-Jun-04/6:56 AM |
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Superb! Clearly a very succesful revision.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199 |
14-Jun-04/8:32 AM |
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Buggering around with the lines does not make this a poem. In fact this is an appalling confessional which serves as a horrible insight into the scattered jumble of my little ponies that constitutes your imagination.
-3-
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| Re: The Businessman by abcmonkey78 |
Stephen Robins 213.146.148.199 |
14-Jun-04/8:38 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
richa 81.178.246.218 |
14-Jun-04/8:47 AM |
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| Re: driven by ThePariahDog |
ThePariahDog 65.2.101.179 |
14-Jun-04/9:27 AM |
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would you please check your poor spelling before you rant about my poetry? *enable an inner calmness
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| Re: The Stickmen of Fools by embersandenvelopes |
Shuushin 147.154.235.53 |
14-Jun-04/10:12 AM |
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Reads fairly well - not entirely sure what it's about though. Feels like a venting somehow.
I like this idea of pouncing on something then the pouncer suffocating.
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
Dan garcia-Black 66.159.205.193 |
14-Jun-04/10:45 AM |
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I have an entire trunk full of Kodak 'frozen inactions' and their negatives of family & friends I'd rather not remember anyway. However, I do think you might want to do a bit of re-writing on the sixth and the last line.
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| Re: The Stickmen of Fools by embersandenvelopes |
Dan garcia-Black 66.159.205.193 |
14-Jun-04/10:53 AM |
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
AuntyM 152.163.252.165 |
13-Jun-04/4:18 PM |
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Great visual. I really admire your writing style.
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| Re: Bugs by INTRANSIT |
AuntyM 152.163.252.165 |
13-Jun-04/4:22 PM |
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You have a way of seeing the beauty in the not-so obvious. Well done. Strike!
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
zodiac 65.161.41.48 |
13-Jun-04/4:46 PM |
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You should change "There must be no other place" to "I have known no other place," or something such, as it's doubtful you've visited every place on earth. As it happens, the most peaceful place on earth is my own home town in North Carolina's Great Smoky Mountains. Observe:
http://tinyurl.com/2sxch
http://tinyurl.com/2knlp
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| Re: Windfall by wilco |
zodiac 65.161.41.48 |
13-Jun-04/5:14 PM |
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This poem is entirely lacking in main clauses. -0-
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| regarding some deleted poem... |
arduinn 165.21.83.230 |
13-Jun-04/8:38 PM |
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| Re: The Chamber by nothingtoanyone |
nothingtoanyone 4.233.104.41 |
13-Jun-04/9:34 PM |
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It's my way of saying yes there are rules so go ahead and break them because no one's stopping you...
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