regarding some deleted poem...	wilco 24.176.102.131	8-Jun-04/7:57 PM
Colorado is truly one of the most beautiful places I have ever been.
Re: Desire by Chasz Misleading	fevriere 62.254.128.6	9-Jun-04/1:42 PM
Naked and Bloody. Really? Sucks to be You, then, I spose.
Re: With Reckless Abandon by MacFrantic	MacFrantic 198.81.26.16	9-Jun-04/3:13 PM
If god'swife is so keen on that little *2*, then I suggest that a reason be provided. Anything below a 3 without so much as scant resonance of a rationale is total bullshit*
Re: Wedding Day by Caducus	richa 81.178.253.120	9-Jun-04/3:18 PM
It is not enough to call the wind arrogant, its actions should portray such, then there would be no need for the word. Same goes for 'fragrant' (what smell is fragrant), 'desperate' 'hopeless' and 'exuding wry misery'. I am growing fond of the polite 'english' voice in poetry. Fallen portico/ ironed silk give the poem a charm certainly.
Re: New lover confirms poetic divorce by fevriere	richa 81.178.253.120	9-Jun-04/3:20 PM
This haiku seems to suggest in happier times you could rhyme blue eyes with sea.
Re: Bugs by INTRANSIT	god'swife 209.178.164.216	9-Jun-04/12:32 PM
Humans die all sorts of ways, so be more specific. Name someone who died that way. Also aren't you describing what happens after death? Kill the 'on unforgiving...' line. the line before it is so much more interesting and the audience already knows windshields are transparent. "Jealous" how is it jealous? I don't know what the next 2 lines stand for, but it would sound and look better without the 'a' before fluid. What do those lines mean? It isn't clear.
regarding some deleted poem...	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.70	8-Jun-04/7:00 PM
awfully good. excellent even. I , uh, wow.
Re: White Candle by crwncka1	sliver 63.190.81.70	8-Jun-04/7:03 PM
Black isn't a color, it's the lack of color. good words though.
regarding some deleted poem...	electroman1979 198.81.26.16	8-Jun-04/8:32 PM
yeah, it is an incredible place, although i find myself syking myself up the whole year for that trip... i guess i'm just a wimp for the hike
Re: Turdzilla by Shardik	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.70	9-Jun-04/6:50 AM
When is the book supposed to hit the shelves?
regarding some deleted poem...	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.70	9-Jun-04/6:53 AM
and still you managed to squeeze more blood from this. exemplary.
Re: A Flower for Monet by Shuushin	INTRANSIT 64.12.116.70	9-Jun-04/7:27 AM
I hate it when I miss really good stuff like this.
regarding some deleted poem...	edpeterson 68.79.21.41	9-Jun-04/8:11 AM
well, it is recorded right here.. why? who cares? I think it is kinda funny.
Re: Litany by zodiac	seanlb1 66.161.250.133	9-Jun-04/9:40 AM
the whole poem screams beat... it makes me wonder if your poetry is beat-influenced? anyway it just reminded me of that style and i think you should keep going with that!
Re: Wedding Day by Caducus	god'swife 209.178.164.216	9-Jun-04/11:45 AM
You know there are some fantastic images here, but then you drown them in muck. That first stanza is romantic and quite musical intil thee last line. reminds me of Garcia Lorca and than at the end it's like eating the last peanut in the Cracker Jacks and it tastes all rotten and soggy. Do you take writing poetry seriously, or are here because your bored? Her vanilla gown was lifted. I like that line. it has a nice assonance.
Re: Litany by zodiac	god'swife 209.178.164.216	9-Jun-04/11:49 AM
Kill the first line in all 3 stanzas. Also do you have to mention the bed? Can't it just be 'lain next to you'? oh forget it. Are you pulling my leg here?
Re: Litany by zodiac	titan69 62.31.23.93	9-Jun-04/11:57 AM
Arr got you zodiac whats with all the yorkshire bashing. you dont come from the best of places youself now do you? -2
regarding some deleted poem...	titan69 62.31.23.93	9-Jun-04/12:14 PM
IM shore it is a beautiful place.
Re: my unicorn by francis nor capule	god'swife 209.178.164.216	9-Jun-04/12:35 PM
Good gravy.
regarding some deleted poem...	god'swife 209.178.164.216	9-Jun-04/12:42 PM
You're not really this naive?