Re: a comment on Mosul by Dovina	jroday 204.215.33.30	3-Jan-05/12:31 AM
It's better than a 5-7-5
Re: a comment on Point Blank by jroday	jroday 204.215.33.30	3-Jan-05/12:22 AM
Thank you richa for your advice, the next time I'll try to do better.
Re: Point Blank by jroday	blacksoul 204.215.33.30	3-Jan-05/12:18 AM
My wish is that we would allow this planet to be the beautiful oasis that she is, and allow ourselves to live more in the peace that she generates.
Re: a comment on 38 Lines by auscot	auscot 138.130.95.21	2-Jan-05/10:00 PM
I see my poetry as a recreational pursuit with no restrictions. I do it purely for enjoyment not kudos, It is gratifying when it is liked and enjoyed. Like my sculpture, I create for me, no other. I just happened to have a sheet with 38 lines and I filled it. It gave you no satisfaction, but I enjoyed doing it and that is what counts. Let's face it, in posting on this site we are playing minor league, very few posts would cut the mustard in the world of poetry publishing. It's the enjoyment that matters, at least for me.
Re: Math Poem 3 by Dovina	patty t 64.231.23.109	2-Jan-05/8:36 PM
very snappy - though, your example is more of a logical tautology than math -9- here's one I wrote a while ago Math vs poetry its radius is one-half the diameter the area: r-squared, by pi for years I was chained to a perfect circle the Formulae kept me from asking, why?
Re: Math Poem 2 by Dovina	patty t 64.231.23.109	2-Jan-05/6:44 PM
the 'too'/'two' pun is telegraphed - saw it coming a mile away. -8-
Re: a comment on Betwixt and In Between by dougsoderstrom	dougsoderstrom 207.80.112.12	2-Jan-05/5:58 PM
Dear Shuushin: Good points. Yeah, I was just kind of just playing around with nonsense....... And yes, I am sure that we never can really do just "nothing" as, no doubt, "doing nothing" obviously always means we have "done something." Good question about Zodiac...... I'm not sure myself why he became so upset. The best to you, Doug
Re: An Ode To An Angel by Bhaskaryya	Acid_moose 209.208.76.160	2-Jan-05/4:58 PM
good poem, 9
Re: Betwixt and In Between by dougsoderstrom	Shuushin 70.16.209.52	2-Jan-05/3:44 PM
Doing nothing is always an option. It made me consider Frost's poem, and how it would be different if he had actually taken neither road. I think it would pretty much end in the first stanza. *Eventually* you gotta do something, even if it is "went back the way I came". And what the heck did you do to piss off Zodiac? I think he's just jealous.
Re: a comment on Betwixt and In Between by dougsoderstrom	dougsoderstrom 207.80.112.12	2-Jan-05/2:56 PM
Dear Zodiac: 1. No it was a very finely done dissertation...... It took me four years and 234 pages to complete. 1A. No the dissertation was completed the late spring of 1976, and then I received my Ph.D. degree a month or so later. 2. Very interesting, I guess even Christian Humanists are human beings with a resonable degree of individuality (individual differences). 3. Gerald Douglas Soderstrom (minus the title, of course). 4. No definitely not, but I will soon be posting a new poem entitled, "This Thing Called War." Look for it as I would be pleased to hear your comments. 5. Are you serious about living in the Middle East? Here is an abstract that I found that summarizes the essence of the dissertation study that was published in The Journal of Clinical Psychology back in 1977: Soderstrom, Doug and E. Wayne Wright. 1977. "Religious Orientation and Meaning in Life." Journal of Clinical Psychology vol. 33, pp. 65-68. Abstract: Tested the general hypothesis that a mature religious commitment should aid youth in their search for meaning in life. A questionnaire was given to 427 college freshmen and sophomores in 6 midwestern colleges. Results indicate that intrinsically motivated Ss, committed Ss, and true believers had significantly higher Purpose in Life Test mean scores than did extrinsically motivated Ss, uncommitted Ss, and unbelievers. The results also indicate that religious integration (moral commitment paired with spiritual commitment) is indicative of meaning in life. It is concluded that a mature religious commitment should aid youth in their search for meaning in life. [Source: PI] I hope that this answers your questions to your satisfaction. Your Friend in Christ, Doug
Re: a comment on Dear Will, by DarkThirteens	Shuushin 70.16.209.52	2-Jan-05/12:56 PM
of course, I meant "sweet" - though sweat does flow.
Re: Sugar Coating by nentwined	Shuushin 70.16.209.52	2-Jan-05/12:55 PM
lol, this is the third time I've logged in and the second time I've gotten two of *your* poems to randomly review... dimples? that's not what came to mind. Either way, a good message.
Re: Thoughts for Later (v3) by nentwined	Shuushin 70.16.209.52	2-Jan-05/12:53 PM
sure, I like it.
Re: Dear Will, by DarkThirteens	Shuushin 70.16.209.52	2-Jan-05/11:57 AM
Actually has a sweat flow - was put off by two things though: "arouhd" (around), "and fill me full of fear" is a bit of an overstatement, considering you have the two lines above it. Yes, I know you need the rhyme, so get rid of one of those others (prolly "you scare..."). Slight annoyance is that I wouldn't normally pronounce "Lea" to rhyme with "me". still - feels good.
Re: Dear Will, by DarkThirteens	DarkThirteens 68.184.162.14	2-Jan-05/10:14 AM
This is a poem i wrote at 1:12 a.m. for my friend so i was half asleep. i don't expect tens. lots of inside jokes so don't freak out.
Re: Math Poem 3 by Dovina	Shuushin 70.16.209.52	2-Jan-05/9:44 AM
Given Zodiac's change - quite excellent.
Re: No More Autumn Poems (Edit) by Sasha	Shuushin 70.16.209.52	2-Jan-05/9:43 AM
First stanza, about one extra word per line. that and I see - "about to die" s/b "who's dying" so you can make the rhyming line "leaving branches drying" First line of last stanza - rough. last line, need something before "requiem". Pretty damn close to very good (otherwise I wouldn't bother, friend).
Re: Math Poem 3 by Dovina	Dan garcia-Black 66.159.232.37	2-Jan-05/7:19 AM
I'm sorry, Miss Dovina. The dog ate my math homework.
Re: Point Blank by jroday	richa 81.178.233.69	2-Jan-05/7:15 AM
Not a particularly incisive analysis. Poems need to be more subtle and crafted. The only poem I see here is the bit where jesus comes down as a jew and everyone is suspicious of him. Also don't use caps they are the most artless device of communication ever.
Re: a comment on Mallard by richa	Shuushin 70.16.209.52	2-Jan-05/7:10 AM
Oh, I didn't get that. And don't be so hard on yourself, happens to all of us.