Beyond_Dreams
replying on Religious Slaughter by Beyond_Dreams
20 Dec 2004, 6:28 PM
Are you referring to the spelling?
It's not so much Iraq specifically but Iraq is a good example. It's more of a general outlook on the world right now and state of it.
I will never take to free verse, must be my age, give me a good old fashioned rhyming poem any day. Yet, never too late, must try. One thing I would like to see, a 'tumulous' ocean with an 'o'.
You are a sculptor. van Gogh was a painter. I do a little math. How do you as a sculptor write poetry? That's the thing I want to get at. How does a car mechanic or truck driver put a thing so very common, that they do every day, into poetry.
I wish I could remember what I said. You seem to have deleted all the comments. Oh yes, I said this was atypical for zoo keepers. No, I did not get the metaphor. And on reading it again, I don't get it except that you said so. In the future, please do not delete comments unless they really gross you out.
Thanks Dovina with the mystic name, I admire your lack of cynicism, but regret that Decline and Fall failed to register as a metaphor for the corrupt and corruption all around us. For Zoo Keepers read politicians.
Are you referring to Iraq, and Bush's bum-crushingly idiotic description of its liberation as "a crusade"? It may be an irony, but if we are successful in Iraq it will be as much a victory for secularism as anything else, just as deposing the Taliban was a victory for secularism in Afghanistan.
It's sad that the events in history, where so many people died was about the religious crusades and even sadder is the fact that it is about to happen again, and the thoughts behind it came to mind as I watch the news daily.
I hope that gave you little insight on this poem.
Well I'll always be here for clarification, and it doesn't hurt my feelings to have to start up a few hundred writer-reader relationships. I'm actually honored to have my opinion sought after and maybe even, god forbid, valued. But I also wouldn't dream of stealing away any conclusions somebody might draw up for themselves, to me the magic poetry creates is relative to mind open enough to make its message their own.
•°•Gregory James•°•
No I voted 10 because this is a site for POETRY and HELPING EACH OTHER OUT, not poking holes in other people's work :(
Looking at it that way, and reading it again, it makes more sense. But unless the poem is part of a series where readers already know some things about you, you cannot expect us to pick that up from this poem alone.
My stab at this would be something along the lines of, "I'm living my life thinking I have control over my emotions and that I can just black out the parts that depress me and then that's that, but eventually enough becomes enough and the ulterior world I've created to live in kicks me out and I'm forced to actually confront reality like it actually does effect me." I like it, because to me... it makes worlds of sense in more ways than one.
•°•Gregory James•°•
Surely you're big enough not to care what I think? Particularly if I'm the failed Spiderman you seem to think I am. My question was perfectly straightforward. But you chose to fudge it. Your 'answer' didn't even come close to being an answer. You could have just told the truth, which makes me think you don't want me to know the truth.
I think the truth is that you only gave the poeme a 9 because it flattered you. Let's face facts: POETICALLY, IT WAS A PILE OF WANK. Nearly as good as Yeats? lol. Why didn't you just say 'no' when I asked you?
Back to that, are we? Same question, new setting.
You made no secret, in your opening statement on jroday’s poem, that you find my vote of 9, compared to your 10, “very sad.” Your ensuing questions sought to draw me into some slip-of-word, a self-made entanglement from which you could close in to inflict pain for your pleasure in accordance with your previously stated intent.
You will understand if I am wary. “A smart fish swims around the bait,” and I have answered your question (in the deleted poem, and rephrased here) as fully and directly as it deserves, considering your stated motive.
Today, I have a red dress to put on, a hat to wear, and cheer to deliver. May I begin by presenting you the enjoyment of a title for your possible development? “Dovina, the Dimtard.” Catchy, isn’t it? Has a pleasant ring. Using it and my “Yes” answer to your question in jroady’s poem about whether I find his poem nearly as good as Yeats, you could expound for several pages, and enjoy the merriment of this special season.
Again, Merry Christmas.
Do you doubt it's good enough to be published?
A weak idea, weakly developed. This is not your best. The rhymes do not help. As much as I've criticized your vagueness, I'd rather have it over this.