Dan garcia-Black
replying on To Leave a Trace by Dovina
17 Oct 2004, 12:48 PM
They will say that Shardik, Zodiac and Robbins were well- schooled assholes hiding behind the electron stream known as the internet. Of course, it's easy to be brave when you hide behind pseudonyms and long distances. Give me the readings in Hollywood and Redondo, Venice, Santa Monica where Trannies, Dykes, Blacks, Whites (And the occasional straight poet) will get booed off stage because they suck. There is honesty. Honesty is transitory. By the next poet everyone will have forgotten the last poet's words. Reading in real time not hiding behind clever bullshit retorts. Any man out there care to meet me and have it out with an open reading or with fists and knives (no guns, it makes for short discussion)? Of course not! Coward's on the internet use a Roget’s to fight for them. I'm glad that Zodiac is hiding in the Middle East. Maybe he'll eventually marry a towel head and direct his bullshit into a marriage where it belongs. Losers outsource themselves because the can't make it in the States. Those who can't, teach or go to the middle east. Thanks for the chance to say hi to everyone on your poem, Dovina.
Sorry to have poured hope into your day. It’s the danger of writing though, the difficulty of completely removing every trace on the day before we die, overlooking something, or getting the timing wrong. God, what will they really say!?
It’s a pipe dream, kinda like heaven. But who knows, maybe they’ll find the good stuff and not the crap. I’d have used a nicer word, but Horus says I’m bland. He can be so sweet sometimes.
God! I hate hopeful poems. Still, this one is OK.
Coul you not make this a poem just by cutting the lines at readable places? I loved it. The "he/him/her" bit's a little confusing but I like that. I really like it all.
I don't think the repetition works, the speed of light line annoys me. And drop "token" for something else. That line could be the real hook but I feel the whole thing's not quick as catchy as you want it to be. As it could be.
OK, so the last line could be "The sure hope of his shoulders inert." Good poem anyway.
U R SO Gay.
I like "honorably unread", I think that's a very strong line.
A 55 word heart decunter.
You've got to be kidding?
This is an unavigatable floater.
I don't see how you race through a dream.
I hate the term, true love. It is love or not, but what is true love? Otherwise, I find this fanciful, but alright in a mushy way.
Your knowledge of history needs a good punting.
Thank you, I think. Or is that too bland a way of saying I appreciate and almost like what you are saying?
Your writing's getting stronger, but
God the way your mind works... Is ah...
Bland.
some deleted user
replying on I hate Haiku's. Bombs away. by Rollsoftoiletpaper
17 Oct 2004, 7:22 AM
A meta-ku is a haiku about a haiku. Therefore the meta part must reflect nature too. Therefore this is not even a meta-ku. In conclusion it is impossible to write a nature poem about a poem. Even this is incorrect:
please understand
a haiku's about nature,
nature you retards.
some deleted user
replying on I hate Haiku's. Bombs away. by Rollsoftoiletpaper
17 Oct 2004, 7:18 AM
If you were a more articulate commentator, rollsoftoiletpaper may have better understood that you thought this poem was worth a -0-.
What an extraordinarily gay comment. And wrong. And you also fall prey to saying someone's logic falls prey to something, which makes you a first-rate practitioner of Parmesean Bummingtonism in my book. Conclusions: There is no "you", just a funny-shaped knee-hat in Harris tweed.