edpeterson
on Urbane Jane by MacFrantic
7 Jul 2004, 6:24 AM
i still do not understand why sung and not sang.
i am not entirely sure, but i don't think that the word "loom" can be used as a transitive verb. perhaps move the word loom to the first line or use a comma.
this goes well with part 2, and is pretty good, and even a bit funny.
lions could use an apostrophe
let me be the first to say "davinguff"
sentence structure is a major, crucial element in all writing, including free verse, prose and even some grocery lists.
the worthwhile writer takes his potential audience into consideration, and tries to structure sentences in a way that makes them understandable to that audience.
I think the poem is pretty good, though it feels like a preach in parts. this is unsavory.
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
on Why you don't fall through the floor by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?
7 Jul 2004, 5:00 AM
The volume of the box is a³. So I understand why:
(dV/da) = 3a²
So dV = 3a²da.
But how do you get dV = d³a ? d³a = d(d(da)), doesn't it?
Stephen Robins
replying on Absolute Truth (about Quarton) by ?-Dave_Mysterious-?
7 Jul 2004, 4:53 AM
Under the new censored regime I may only say that your comments are valid and well structured and that your poem although not techincally a limerick had me weepng. Under the old regime, I would have told you "you are a sorry pool of discarded flange gravy".
nothing wrong with this one.
Are you from California? Would you say teen sitcom "California Dreams" was an acurate representation of your life?
Yes, and you can also justify a belief in any kind of pseudo-mystical nonsense. For example, to justify a belief in feng shui, the argument goes something like this:
1)Science doesn't have all the answers you know.
2)Science doesn't explain feng shui.
3)Therefore feng shui must be real.
4)QED
Where have you got this nutty idea about "the basic oneness" being one of the most important revelations of modern physics? It isn't even any kind of revelation about modern physics. Nor is it the "central theme" of quantum mechanics. I don't belive you (because you are wrong), but I do believe in quantum mechanics.
And I can't beleive you just said "If you don't know this basic truth, then you should avoid the subject rather than expose your ignorance which so far, has been considerable." Come on, you must be taking us for a ride? Do you *really* believe all this holistic mumbo jumbo?
If you want to know about quantum mechanics, please see my excellent piece entitled "Why you don't fall through the floor." (Although please ignmore all the nasty business about manhole covers. I was young and foolish.)
Thanks for listening, I've been ?-Dave_Mysterious-?.
You clod!
PS-I'm moving to the Middle East today. Sorry I can't stick around for more of this amazingly! exciting! and worthwhile! discussion!!!!!!!!!!!
Please give references to the papers or journals from which you've picked up this stupefyingly wrong-headed idea about the "central theme" of quantum theory.
You wanna know somethin? You can make this into a pretty good villanelle split in two or three smashin versions or parts. That aside, heres an eight.
I was left feeling unsatisfied. ;/ Seven.
SupremeDreamer
on Order My Book, And $4.00 Will Go To Killing A Pop Star by <{Baba^Yaga}>
6 Jul 2004, 11:08 PM
I'll promptly put it on my to-do list. nine.
And before you get started, I know my little poem only has
4 lines.
and please don't tell me I mispelled "here." I think its time for
bed. You guys have worn me out.