moonlightdance
on When He's In Me by J.B. Manning
5 Jul 2004, 9:33 AM
love the poem!
Note: The paradelle is one of the more demanding French fixed forms, first appearing in love poetry of the eleventh century. Itâs a poem of four six-line stanzas in which the first and second lines, and the third and fourth lines, of the first three stanzas, must be identical. The fifth and sixth lines, which traditionally resolve these stanzas, must use all the words from the preceding lines and only those words. The final stanza must use every word from all the preceding stanzas and only those words.
Here I have presented only the first stanza, hoping to perfect all six stanzas into a monumental epitaph. I can then die having accomplished a worthy lifeâs mission.
I see the impassable path and your family's wrath, but not quite getting the last line. Was it really impassable?
"Any information lost in the translation can only be meaningless"? How silly! All languages contain cultural shades of meaning that don't translate well, especially when trying to translate one of the "romantic" language into English. The poet in this poem, whose native tongue is Spanish, tried to aid my understanding of her meaning, but could do so only partly through her learned lanuage, English. For me, it was like seeing through a tarnished glass.
there is something catchy and appealing about this.
for you and I?????
edpeterson
on Order My Book, And $4.00 Will Go To Killing A Pop Star by <{Baba^Yaga}>
5 Jul 2004, 8:26 AM
that's it.. I'm buyin one
A very interesting piece, a style I have not seen before, are we saying what we would like for dinner? hehehehe......... very funny.............
Yeah, I dig that. Presumably you've read the first one.
don't really feel the words.. but the way you write is good. keep writing.
I'm not sure why you used 'he' in stanza two when all throughout you used 'i'. (?)
well described.. some of the words are used too many times, though.. that kind of marred the poem
in L14, i suggest you change 'striketh my hand' to sth else as 'strike' means 'hit'...
lol
Thanks Brittanyy! Hey, I looked at your website. Sometimes there just isn't enough vomit in the world.
You simpering half wit.
You are a slapper.
horus8
replying on Order My Book, And $4.00 Will Go To Killing A Pop Star by <{Baba^Yaga}>
4 Jul 2004, 10:50 PM
I'm buying it just because they spelled my name wrong, that's dope. I'm going to move to Hesperai and kill shit from off of my porch. And then for an added attraction, I'm going to dress up like Martha Stuart and Sodomize Michael Moore.
You're a lot better when you're not trying to talk science. Unfortunately, none of the sentences in this poem are really sentences.
zodiac
on Order My Book, And $4.00 Will Go To Killing A Pop Star by <{Baba^Yaga}>
4 Jul 2004, 9:01 PM
Basia, Seals from Seals and Crofts, or the White Stripes. My check's in the mail. Don't let me down again.
a sad thing indeed.
Are you sure his name wasn't "Little Willie?"