Brittanyy
on Barometric pressure & true love (The prince of storms) by Jeremi B. Handrinos
4 Jul 2004, 6:07 PM
I don't know why anyone would give this poem anything below a ten. Very good.
I dont know who in their right mind would even consider giving THIS poem a 10..It's pure garbage..Thats all I can say..You Suck and Your Poem Sucks.. -0-
Hmm well..This poem is so bad it makes me feel better about my poems and for that I will grant you a...-5-
Ok this poem was just a bad attempt to be funny and well...It's not..Nice try champ better luck next time..
Hello. Perhaps I can shed some light on this matter. I have a degree in science from Strathclyde Univesity, and I can confirm that:
a) This poem is wrong
b) Science is true.
I like the way you use clouds as a metaphor for the human condition.
A think of life as being more of a sort of crochet.
This poem is utterly unintelligible - the unmistakable hallmark of excellent poetry!!!!1
You seem to be suggesting there is some merit in an idea that can only be adequately articulated in one language. What buncombe. A meaningful statement can be expressed in any comprehensive language, such as English, and any information lost in the translation can only be meaningless, emotive hogwash.
Your spelling of 'self-righteous' is bogus and self-righteous.
And you clearly haven't bothered very much reading my 'arguments' or you would have seen that I was speaking purely scientifically and no offense intended. What I meant was, do you believe the notion we call 'gravity' is something personal and variable (eg, you might not, in fact, fall when you walk off a cliff), or is it part of a useful model for the universe which may be applied pretty consistently to almost all imaginable situations (eg, you probably will fall, like most things do)?
This is really quite a lovely little poem. I love the
last three stanzas and my only suggestion is the third
stanza. IMO, it doesn't quite flow as well as the rest
of the poem. Still, it's exceptional as is. Good stuff
and a solid nine.
Dovina...
Thanks for the read and taking the time to comment and your
suggestions. Brevity is definitely a goal to strive for in
writing poetry and I agree with you. Actually, I often suggest
this when commenting on other poems and guess I should take
my own advice. Your version reads quite well and your critique
is appreciated.
I would have given up to two teeth I have left to have written such a poem. Anyone want to trade two teeth for a blender?
What a great future! I think even the footprints in time blow away. A tapestry carefully woven and inevitibly unraveled.
Please see my comment on Time's End.
Sorry. I should have put my comments under Zodiac's post,
not yours.
What the hell is wrong with you? I'm not zodiac. I'm SupremeDreamer, also known as DreamerSupreme, Don-Quixote, Y2kSlamPoet, and Shit-Crumpets. I am wholly different and seperate from zodiac, so please don't mistake me for him.
:P
Dovina
replying on Chaos & his dreamchild (genesis) --Revised Edition-- by SupremeDreamer
4 Jul 2004, 9:10 AM
You're right, sorry.
In all honesty, I must ask:
wheres the fire, and why do I feel so limp? Take my five and be gone!
SupremeDreamer
replying on Chaos & his dreamchild (genesis) --Revised Edition-- by SupremeDreamer
4 Jul 2004, 9:01 AM
Heh, yeah, it's a bit more fluid without "then".. the things a poet will notice in time, tsk, it's amazing the things I've written in the past and the little hiccups I find in them now or not too far off into the future.. I've deducted it from my pc copy. I'm happy you enjoyed the piece, and appreciate you vote and feedback.
SupremeDreamer
replying on Chaos & his dreamchild (genesis) --Revised Edition-- by SupremeDreamer
4 Jul 2004, 8:57 AM
He didn't, he gave me an eight for the first version months ago. You'll notice that beneath the voting graph there is a link called "view voting details", click it and you'll see that sanity was the one who gave me a one.
Just wanted to clear that up so no one gets blamed for someone elses vote heh.