Enkidu
on my truth by francis nor capule
25 May 2004, 6:53 AM
Good pace, very even throughout, except for the first two lines which stutter a bit.
S4 L1, 2ps in hapiness.
-7-
i like it
the most stellar poetry i've ever read.
intense. truly stellar. 10
No need to sound condescending. Learn to spell first.
you must be lacking in inellectual acuity...And maybe Disturbed..
And also exstremly Emotionally unstable.
Great! I love it. Especially the way you closed it.
I do like the imagery though, especially the foam spraying. 8
the third stanza is um, no bueno, si? other than that, probably a 6 or 7.
A Shitaco with extra poonani 1!!!!
What are you on crack again? This poem is a diced turd
Life is all about imitation, and dropping the clutch,
you should be flattered. I have big love for you mang.
You ever listen to Cheech and Chong's old records
Blind Melon Chitlin, Pedro at the beach etc...?
Dan garcia-Black
on the greatest moment that never existed by thepinkbunnyofdoom
24 May 2004, 7:54 PM
I've forgottn why this poem should bother me. It's something in my past or in my future but it isn't happening now. Maybe that's a good thing.
Well said.
You missed a 'brown'. Otherwise this would have contained every single motif you've copied from -=Dark_Angel=- in the last 2 years.
That is really good. It expresses emotion very well. It makes me glad that I am not the only person in this world to feel that way.
too personal without any true depth. Just Emoting, and not even very strongly. Nice imagery but it feels like its coming from nowhere only to end up going nowhere. No suggestions, because I'm not really sure how you could make this better.
Oh my!