where’s the imagery? The metaphors? There’s no similes, No use of poetic devices, no alliteration. The writer doesn’t even appear depressed or suicidal, So what the hell kind of poem is this anyway?

The first verse seems awkwardly worded, though understandable.

Shouldn't you be chatting someplace?? ;O) Not bad, this one - not bad at all. Might be a little preposition heavy in S1 (fairly easily fixed - trade away across somehow since it's implied by the bridge). It's got a nice feel to it. ah - I just notice <~> hit on the pronouns. Those little words that offer little value are what will kill you. Over a third of the words are either preps or pronouns.

the linebreaks seem to make no sense.

so many pronouns! wean them away for a more concise image, and give me a little less narrative and a little more of why you stopped, and, having stopped, chose to then cross that wobbly span clutching that now-impotent pen?

Good. I think it would be stronger if your lose these lines: He disbelieved. Doubted. And I just can't drop it.

Except for the last three verses, you have written a nice essay with line breaks. You promised, "we’ll have some lyricism soon," and so we do at the end. "So what the hell kind of poem is this anyway?" You said I'd ask and I do. My low vote is because you have posted an essay.

Verse 1 poses a good question, the implications of which are much argued on Poemranker. Verse 2 doesn't help much to answer it. Verse 3 is good because it raises the dilemma between prose and meaning, which is most important.

Is a good question(s), to be sure. And raises still more (nothing wrong with that). I think you might be limiting the poem's impact by making that last suggestion, somehow?

You are a hopeless fuck.

Aye - cleaner. questioning "in some" now... don't hit me...

I disagree. There is a poem in there. What you need is a well trained Ferret. As you know, I am not said Ferret. Put it back in the english wheel.

I'll get back to you. In a hunnert or so years. Poem or not, it is a vehicle to get from your last writ to your next. Most important. Bloomsday? Hmmmm..

You appear to fail for failure's sake.

Electro-Sausage.

Have you been watching Kill Bill? This is delightfully absurd in the same manner.

i like this. i like the cadence and the melancholy and the present that won't escape the past, here. and the gold, the yellow, everywhere, now, bursting.