Shuushin
replying on Gothic by zodiac
3 May 2004, 8:06 PM
Yeah, if you could just do that from now on, that would be good. Thanks.
"grow tall and tall..." maybe. It's a Whitman thing. I dunno. I like it as is. I tend to overlook burned leaves if the root is strong.
Duly noted. But that would alter the rhythm.
I would translate "praecipitem eiciunt" as "subjected him to anal abuses" for the rhyme.
Now, if you are going to purposefully post bum crap then correct someone (like me) who points out its not bad, then I aint gonna play anymore.
It is a little light in the sense department, but I give you the benefit of the doubt - don't make me regret it.
WOW... that whole thing took place while i was away. Thanks for all the info and i'll look out for all of it in the future. ;)
Tyre is the british variant of tire; they're the same word, but thanks.
i'm not much for concrete poetry, but i'll look into it, thanks! how do you suggest doing it since all the lines are the same length... just push them altogether until i get the right shape?
Hey, what an ass you are!
Sorry, I just didnt like the old one that much
Rich, are you saying that man's will, desires ,decisions and deepest contemplations are the mere product of physical cause and effect? Where does the artists vision come from? What is the source of the poets finely crafted work? Where is the scientific proof behid your assertion?
I think it is pretty fucking good. I like the way you cast shame in a postitive light. Though, frozen with fear, and the religious overtones detract. but what the fuck do I know? Nothing. ANd yet i wield a vote as sharp as any other....aint democracy grand?
Great. So many hours have i spent looking at those fucking cones, or horses or even the white lines, counting, smoking...
What are you doing? deleting a poem that you just posted and posting another! That's twice!
Good, i think done with the proper amount of restraint, (well, at least as much as can be exercised in a poem of this nature). I think perhaps a little cutting to shorten.
These are remedies to "taste" only if needed.
To taste if needs be...i aint no fuckin gardner, and maybe this phrase is an apt ending amongst gardening type folk, in the fold, but it leaves me a little limp, and desirous of something more satisfying.
If you would just write some gruesome short stories, that would be 10 times more ace than this poetry fiddle-faddle.