Stephen Robins
replying on Radiation Reflections by sarah
25 Apr 2004, 1:48 PM
Why are you flirting is Sophie not putting out and you are having to resort to hiding behind computers as a sexual outlet.
Sarah, please do not fall foul of Fraser, he has a proven record of "grooming" girls on the internet. He uses the internet to hide his huge flan like legs which are obscenely reminiscent of those appended to VioletSuede (qv). He will lure you into liking his fat soul before emerging with his fat triangular head with flourescent ginger pubes a'top.
I was imitating Kirk. James Tiberius.
If your imitating Spock... why are you saying Spock?
Why not Scotty?
Beam me up. Scotty.
We have much.
Work. To do.
yep. very poetic and stuff.
Spock. Your eyes. Make me want.
To kiss you.
No, I'm not Dave. I simply have a rabid fan base. It makes it hard sometimes...
Apostrophes always mess me up...
i.e. - none the less - I was going for kind of a Bill Shatner kind of voice thing there....I don't know.....
I liked polar-fickle-phases, and liked trying to figure out what it means.
- shouldn't
- didn't (apostrophe generally goes with the missing letter)
- nonetheless is usually one word.
Well done, but I'd consider loosing that second stanza, or to at least get more out of it. Nine.
unusual texture, conveys well.
looky, its a arrowhead.
What is this creature, and how did its description merit a ten from daveslady? Are you, by any chance, Dave?
I can give it a nine I guess, cuz well if its good enough for her...
I strolled with you..
Don't get me wrong, I think its perfectly fine to have a haiku with 8 or whatever syllable counts.
Generally its a short/long/short kinda thing, and most folks bristle at anything other than 5 7 5, possibly accepting 3 5 3.
I got that Don't worry, be happy song stuck in my head after reading this...
It could depend on your geographic location. Someone in the deep south might pronounce it "pome" and therefore make it one syllable. Of course, this would still be wrong, but whatever.
yep.
Yes, some punctuation would definitely make this better.
I was going to give this a 7 until I read the comments and saw what it is about. For what it's worth, I think you should try the above suggestion and try rewriting it and trying to find the "right" words (I didn't get that it was a mentally ill girl until the comments). Still, it's not bad at all.
"My memories, reduced, don't reside at your distaste." - Do you have any idea what this means?
Well, there goes my bladder.