zodiac
replying on I Married an Infectious Woman (My Love, 'Futility') by SupremeDreamer
30 Mar 2004, 2:45 PM
Hey, SupremeDreamer! I didn't say bad-weird.
SupremeDreamer
replying on I Married an Infectious Woman (My Love, 'Futility') by SupremeDreamer
30 Mar 2004, 1:52 PM
Well I haven't talked or poked fun at that lil furry beast in I don't know how many months.. and when the fuck have any comment or action of mine on rankerville been anything other than "weird"... I'll have you know that its my ranker M.O. to the extreme.
But one should worry if a highschool reunion takes place here in ranker-ville.. I despise any congregation which relates to the horror of goverment-run education.
zodiac
replying on I Married an Infectious Woman (My Love, 'Futility') by SupremeDreamer
30 Mar 2004, 1:38 PM
It's weird. Like a fuckin reunion episode here today.
I think this piece would benefit from a good edit.. it looks to me that you've spilled emotion rather than crafted a decent piece. Dull use of language also.. you don't want to have a poem come off as over-emotional. But it does offer something to work with.
No vote for now.
SupremeDreamer
replying on I Married an Infectious Woman (My Love, 'Futility') by SupremeDreamer
30 Mar 2004, 1:28 PM
Have you emerged from your lil rabbit hole?! Did you finish your novel? Have you returned or are you simply visiting, soon to start hopping quickly away into the forest of "The Unshaved Pine Tree's"? Eh?
As sentimental as this will appear, I am compelled to say this:
I miss you, shithead. :)
reminds me of an old friendship that went to hell
Actually, it sounds pretty good with the music. Putting a capo on the 5th fret gives it a sad feel. The music makes it.
thepinkbunnyofdoom
on I Married an Infectious Woman (My Love, 'Futility') by SupremeDreamer
30 Mar 2004, 12:42 PM
Much Improvement! I am indeed impressed. -10-
Interesting to say the least. Which I'm not known for that. I enjoyed it, and admit it, who wouldn't? It was off the wall and lacking a bit in grammer(But hey like most poets from the before the 20s aren't). -9-
Some good sentiment, especially, "I've burned every bridge . . .only to spend the next few weeks rebuilding everything."
Lovely words, and I must agree. We are.
I don't have a random word associator. I didn't know Wesley Wallis was late. Damn. That does make my band's occasional use of casio beats kind of like a tribute. Here's to you, Wesley, you crazy hobo-shaped clam-jerky.
Yes, that would be better. It was the sight of beard on the paper that amused me I think.
If I rewrite, I will put in more clues, I would prefer not to have to explain.
Is there anything specific?
What are we looking for? A little more intrigue perhaps?
Before continuing; I would like to point out I am the only one without a tool for creating a randomn association of words (apart from shift F7 in word). I am therefore relying on my heavily cleft right sided brain which has been mutated by too much tizer. Incidentally, have you heard the music of the late great Wesley Wallis, that relied heavily upon a Casio-keyboard beat accompaniement to his heavily spazed childish hobo lyrics? Indeed, one might state that, he was a clam lipped casio-turbo-hobo.
A ruthless smelling back-fat burger served in tramp gravy.
a thousand points for calling a duck a duck (senryu vs haiku).
tanka you.