Shuushin
replying on Tales From The Outhouse by -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
3 Feb 2004, 1:17 PM
Hole-ee frickin Lord - you are easily the funniest [emotional and perhaps otherwise] cripple I have come across (here, use this handi-wipe).
Reading these "beard" poems are like watching an old dog with no sense of smell try to locate his food; enough bashing will get the job done eventually, but it's almost too sad to laugh at.
Color me stunned!
You certainly are the crispiest chip in the bag.
Too bad it's a colostomy bag.
I don't see the tense one. Telling is a subordinate clause that could be represented something like: "and, telling ourselves that it was not stealing, we had know way of knowing." Also, the time of year that still occurs "when the badger hole etc..." is when you used to pinch bluebells. That also works for me. 'Crows' should be 'crow's'. I don't know what is meant by the fetch of the stare hitting on bark - or, at least, it doesn't call a season to my mind. Crows are around all year here, so is bark. Other than that I think this is fine and a great publishable poetic voice. I see this hitting pulpwood a lot sooner than some other stuff here.
It's cold there. Very cold. And gray. And sometimes (though rarely) you can tell how it is that their grandfathers canonized Hitler and made Jew lampshades. I'm not trying to be German-ist, but the country weirds me out a little. Speaking of abroad, I just rented Lost in Translation. It's release-day here.
please -- I know about the tense one
Very good. Do you want comments?
Why did you get a zero? You might at first suspect that I hold a disability-ist prejudice and have chosen your handicapped verse as the latest target of my unreasoning hatred. But this wouldn't be true, for -=Dark_Angel=- is wheelchair-bound and I regularly commend both his writing and his unwarranted attacks on other wheelchair-bounds (ie, Stephen Hawking). Likewise, Goad, who had most of his throat torn out by a bad German date and is now only able to approximate 'speech' by rattling a piece of wax paper wrapped around a comb with his weak sursurrations, usually gets my approval. So it can't be that I've somehow sensed that you are one of those spinal-columnless 'miracle' babies from whom any approximation of communication at all should be greeted with wonderment, yet whose handicap only inspires fear and hatred in twisted soul. Maybe it's just the line "Sadness? Ney 'tis just the beginning of a new denile." Yeah, that's probably it.
recruiter just before the doc com bust & a good offer.
Company's 1/4 the size now and the salary no longer so great, but I get 10 weeks holidays per year and I'm too lazy to move. But fuck I miss speaking English with native speakers.
the tender depth of feeling you show here for rockmage, caring not a whit how your unusual affection may be judged by the world, is both inspiring and touching. The fourth last stanza made me uh, weep.
Why do you wallow in the land of the sausage?
unfortunately the premise of the pome is correct, at least insofar as it applies to me: I don't give a fuck. shrug, oh well.
stark and evocative. I love the last two lines of s.1 -- sounds almost canadian!
what is the purpose of the mismatching tenses?
Jane sister of Sisyphus! I like it actually. It's nice to hear this old saw rendered with a light touch instead of in teenage hyperbole for a change.
Please learn to punctuate.
"Words and phrases that rhyme with difficult: (0 results)" - heiroglyphic jolt, pacific salt, prolific moult, specific volt, beatific colt, soporific dolt - the 3rd, 5th, and 6th of these, I think, being especially well-suited for a poem about young poemrancor posters.
Brother doesn't rhyme with rather here. I suppose the Brits will argue for father or something, too. The original list (of pure rhymes) was meant as a reflection of PariahDog and his poetry, minus 'Willa Cather' and possibly with 'woolgather' substituted for 'gather.' Rhymezone missed woolgather.
Words and phrases that rhyme with rather: (36 results)
2 syllables:
bather, blather, brother, cather, futher, gather, lather, mather, mother, nother, other, prather, sather, smather, smother, souther, suther, uther, wrather, yother
3 syllables:
another, big brother, blood brother, den mother, earth mother, great mother, queen mother, some other, the other
4 syllables:
foster brother, foster mother, little brother
5 syllables:
every other, many another, surrogate mother
6 syllables:
one after another
Words and phrases that rhyme with difficult: (0 results)
Sorry, no perfect rhymes were found.
4 syllables:
attention span, bank of japan, broth of a man, catamaran, commission plan, company man, confidence man, customer's man, electric fan, enlisted man, family man, fingerprint man, gingerbread man, government man, heidelberg man, installment plan, maintenance man, medical man, medicine man, miracle man, passenger van, property man, remittance man, renaissance man, rhodesian man, sea of japan, stock purchase plan, unmarried man, vigilance man, watering can, worship of man
5 syllables:
alluvial fan, american plan, delivery van, elevator man, european plan, mechanical man, military man, neanderthal man, publicity man, retirement plan, utility man
6 syllables:
architectural plan, capital of japan, capital of sudan, electric frying pan, organization man, public relations man
7 syllables:
republic of the sudan
8 syllables:
employee stock ownership plan, modified american plan