and there's your vote again and i seriously don't mean to be an ass

The note's changed. Though now I've erased your vote.

"a good piece doesn't need an explanatory note" - agreed, I just wanted people to know about the cool yellow light game. --- "it shouldn't be completely spelled out for the reader" - In the same way we say a person is obvious in their ordinary speech, like my little sister who (at 23) still says things like "it's raining" or "I saw a cat." Yet you wouldn't say we're normally cryptic in our speech. You see? You can just relate things. The note aside, "you won't be dead already" is completely different from "she'd have surely died..." And that's my favorite rhyme.

Yes.

I believe all ladies think thusly, my expectations of women being completely corrupted by internet porn.

In and of itself. Vernal is Spring.

in and of itself, or in reference to me? come on, I'm vernal. You know I'm vernal, Dark Angel. A little bit vernal? Just a little?

"On another string I hypothesize you as a young lady." where's this? Come now, would a young lady have read the coffee pome and immediately thought mmHMM, I want the writer of this to come by my house RIGHT NOW?

i agree that a poem should not be so obtuse that you can't figure out what it's trying to say however, i also think a good piece doesn't need an explanatory note, that everything you need to get is in the poem itself however, even with everything in the poem, it shouldn't be completely spelled out for the reader, no hand holding i just find it more rewarding as a reader if i discover the meaning rather than being told the meaning of course, this is just my opinion, and when make something as subjective as an opinion about something as equally subjective in definition as poetry, it's bound to be wrong to more than a few people and i certainly don't claim to be any expert sorry if i'm being too critical here, you can feel free to tell me to shut up whenever

Good call, is it less intrusive like this?

Poetry's not about what you can or can't infer like a puzzle. Usually, though, the headnote doesn't say that she got AIDS.

what do you mean?

on second read, the first hard rhyme is fine but i would remove "So you won't be dead already" i think that's a bit too much telling we can already infer that she's dead when we get to that line i have no idea what to say about the gray light/daylight thing :)

Yes, that's what you do. When you're not measuring craters on about Uranus, and might I add, probing through your on droppings... Fucking moaning monks bug.

on second read the first instance (stoplight/midnights) works i would leave that alone i would also remove "So you won't be dead already" i think there are enough clues in the poem so you don't have to spell it out like that

'As vernal as the Spring' is undoubtedly the stupidest remark I have read on Poemeranker to-day. -10-

actually it's gray light and daylight. That's even harder.

I'm not ambivalent. Yes - well, halfway ambivalent.