zodiac
replying on Captain Cannibal by Lenore
26 Jan 2004, 1:49 PM
It is better. Lenore has an obligation to make himself/herself understood. Otherwise it's entirely masturbatory poetry. Which is fine, but the fact of its being posted on this site means he wants somebody to read and understand it. I'm fine with the idea that poetry can be purely personal, but on the ranker I've got to judge by the standards we've all subscribed ourselves to - to wit, that poetry will be ranked. Lenore, what if everyone who read your poetry thought you were a fascist or racist? Clearly, if enough people thought it, then it's in the work. Is it our obligation to try to understand your ambiguous intention, or your obligation to make sure (if you choose) that your intention is understood?
Why is that better?
Gay...You're right! I like it. What is the poem about? Well clearly itâs about an intellectual giant who delicately intertwines the secrets of the cosmos and truths about the very nature of man. Or at the very least that is how I see it. However, itâs not all that important for me to convey a particular meaning. Rather I think it better to have the reader find his or her own meaning.
are you all mad ITS SHIT!!!!!!!!
Beter not say to much might up set nobby agane
I would do if you didnt look like an ape?
Just kidding 9/10
Woo-hoo. See above.
"stagnant pools of seamen"? The only thing missing from this poem is the well thought out use of the word 'gay'. What's this poem about? I liked the 5th stanza. Much wittier than the rest of this ballad. But seriously, what is this poem about? What insight are you trying to convey to your audience?
"Cool as ice , on the outside I must be..." When you have to invert like that, you need a new rhyme. All of the rest of the language is normal, which makes it really stick out.
"I like to think that the nicer the people I get to meet, The better a person I become." This line needs to be reworded.
What do you think about your likening a drop of water on a blade of grass to a drop of wax on a candle? One drop for another drop? If this poeme had been about a drop of wax on a candle, would you have likened it to a drop of water on the tip of a blade of grass? If so, then buncombe.
And no one else has commented on the pools of seamen. That's weird.
I this this poeme is quite good. It has pirates, ghosts, rotting flesh, bones, mutiny, floating on the sea at night, etc. The main things wrong with it are it gets progressively more vague and pretentious toward the end, and the first line is rubbish.
I didn't even read this and I know it stinks! 10
I stick with my original judgment. Lenore has chops, just needs polishing. The things people think are poetry aren't really. I think we can agree on that.
This is kind of my outlook on life...It is applied to every journy my life takes me through.
No.... I wrote this about 20 years ago. I was at the top of Mt. Eagle in Tenn at the( Top of the Rock ) truck stop. Was on a trip fromm GA.To Indiana.
Yes, I know the feeling. I was once chosen by the 40th iteration of the Mother Theresa group-sentience to take part in a Diabetes Day parade. God, I hope I never witness anything one-tenth as horrifying again.
With no word of complaint, save for the disgustingly self-absorbed, attention-seeking, whining poetry I secrete on a daily basis;
I go on.
Wonderful, richa. Perhaps '..and weigh through it every angle'. I think it fits more with what you're getting at (or at least my simple understanding of your intent).
a bit cliched, I quite like the way you've stopped the poem dead at the end.