All of a sudden your a victim of child abuse? Bullshit. Perhaps your mental gears are batty 'n disfunctional, or my reasoning is shitty, BUT: If you are a victim of child molestation, how are you completely unable to sympathize with Pervy Elf's poem? God believing or not, as a victim you should be able to relate to his anger and disbelief. Instead you berate Pervy Elf for his lack of faith, saying that what happened to him happened because mans weak faith allows evil to do its dirty work? Was it your weak faith that lead to your molestation fair12? Was it your punishment for not having the correct amount of strength in your faith? You also say that god was there "not allowing evil to take the final step", when Pervy's angst exists because "god" DIDN'T prevent evil from taking the final step... Your reaction to this poem made no sense what-so-ever. Did god prevent your molestation? Or did he leave you to be molested when you were just a child? Let me answer that for you: GOD WASN'T DOING ANYTHING- And he wasn't doing anything because the theistic concept of an all-powerful "being" is bullshit; a product of mans need to make himself secure by putting faith in a psychological "divine father-figure and protector". In my opinion christians convolute their religion to turn it into nothing more than a fancy "teddy bear". (Which ofcourse is one reason they have no insightful knowledge or understanding of the bible, the other reason is that they give no thought as to the interpretation of the text or its meaning, but accept their undoubted literal interpretation/meaning.) And about DA being offensive? He isn't. He's being blunt and to the point, and that offends you- it also makes you angry since he makes you look stupid. YOUR FIRST RESPONSE TO PERVY'S POEM HOWEVER? Was offensive, mean-spirited, and absurd; a hurtful way for you to get revenge for pervy criticising/belittling god while voicing his disbelief. Over-all? Your full of shit: A fucking moron. And in my opinion, a shameless liar.

I've made some slight changes that smooths the flow some, point out anything that I've missed or haven't noticed.

I've recited it out loud, but haven't been able to spot what needs tweaking. Since I wrote it, I read/recite it in a way that sound correct to my eyes/ears- so theres no way I can detect the faults that you've come across. ;/ If it isn't too much trouble, could you point out what you feel needs tweaking and give a short explaination why? (Am I a demanding jackass or what? then again I've been alot more annoying in the past..) I'd appreciate it, thanks.

The first verse is what the wise are not. That the wise are not beautiful (the symmetry) as nature (the action of wind shaping a rock). Neither is being wise dynamic or artistic, (the half formed thought). Nor a greater grasp (agility and mental grasp). Just knowing a little about life and time - a perspective. The communication breakdown was a theme in the first version. That the young have all the beauty and energy, but the old are in possession of the reason this is important. (like shaws 'youth is wasted on the young' quote). The images I choose are not part of the plot of the poem but are part of the symbolism of the environment, the mood. Cabbage white is a butterfly specie, and is used to give a mood of peace, innocence, shortness of life. 'the uneven lines of every faked smile' was descriptive of a wise mans face (social intelligence). Faked smiles are less symmetrical because of the dominance of one hemisphere of the brain involved in faking. The line was a kind of play on orwells 'when you are forty you have the face you deserve' the idea that you can see the smile lines and sunk brows from your life.