Caducus
replying on Dolphins Of Dorset by Caducus
11 Dec 2003, 3:08 PM
THanks JH, I was gonna end it originally there but went too far. I have taken your advice - thankx
like the idea dolphins of dorset (there are no dolphins in dorset) it sounds kind of folklore, gives a nice gentle feel.
Like the snappy wisdom (almost beatish) of searching for god, and memory is a friend.
One quibble, the final verse 'my thorns'. Seems detached from the earlier metaphor. Needs to follow through the image of cutting yourself on the thorns.
I appreciate all of your comments...Audrey, Lol. But as far as "Baby Yaga" do I sense sarcasm?
That's because I'm a trained professional, and I have a spatula to proof it
Splooge, nappy, overflowing in the trash can.
I think you should slice open your chest and definitely let all of that guilt out. I mean if you keep it inside any longer it might kill you?
That's about as punk rock as a warm lemonade slurpee.
Yuck dude, that's nasty.
"Adoring them" somehow didn't end it for me on the right foot. It's close, but not as close as I know you can get.
Once, my toes quivered me a quilt, but then I donated it to Denis QuAIDS. Twice, my toes linted my a dollar, but me spaint it on me Maman.
lmao!
Bahumbug!
I like all your new stuff! KC
I noticed that as well. The poem reads beautifully up to this point. The line "And Dad I will not look away" is a great way to end it.
cutesies
And what do you Know, another good one lol.
This is good Kristy!
Thanks for your comment.
Please allow me to explain why i used slut matriarch.
The blessed Virgin Mary is a paragon whom millions worship. Catholicism states that there should be no sex before marriage and my point here is that in the eyes of some religious extremists the mother may be thought of as hmm lets say loose.
Some communion bread is imported from buddhist/jewish countries which is kind of ironic ehrn you think that this bread is snapped, consumed, and devoured (like Jesus). Also the third world after heaven and earth is hell - which is the third world, a living hell. I am not a devil worshipper, but i do however embrace the devils we mortals fear. I have committed many sins, one of which i committed when i attempted suicide, so in the eyes of the 'good book' i am evil and have spent (like many of us) trying to please Christ who i am arguing maybe an exaggerated myth.
Hell I blame MArtin Scorsese ! and if i burn in hell at least I'll be with Goodfellas watching the last temptation of christ.
I admire those who believe in god, without any feelings of negativity or bemusement.
Thanks to all who comment, and apologies if offended.
What do you know richa? I've been trying so hard to hold on for Jesus. But complete bastards keep trying to pull me off the straight and narrow by tempting me with crisps, sweets, and prostitution. I only started a major junk groove in the drug scene after I was pushed passed the funk threshold by disgustingly large quantities of peer pressure. And as any hipster knows: it's all downhill from there, baby. Nobody wants to pull me off? I'll let you be the judge of that when you finally decide to open your eyes to life on the mean streets of crazy town...
You will surely be punished horrendously for rewarding such blasphemy as "An ugly truth made to look beautiful" with so lofty a mark. Begone, child! You bring the disfavour of the Gods upon us all...