Oh dear

Good to see a writer who is a benefit to this site

You have said on your "user" page, under the heading "About": "I am in valid" Do you mean that you are "an invalid" (i.e. a cripple)? Or do you mean that you are "invalid" (i.e. not valid)? If the latter, please tell me the ways in which you are not valid. Yours, Fraser. P.S. I love your poems!!!!!!!!!!!! P.P.S. I think you are great!!!!!!!!!!!!!! P.P.P.S. Will you marry me?????!????????!!!!!!!!!!!???

"The elements are fingers in their own right"? Boy, you sured layed an egg there.

Yeah, God save something, anything.

very well put, I liked it. a big fat ten from yours truly. peace

Just dont know - But ask me in a million years:o(

tee he he

do werewolves exist? i will pra(e)y on this this night

you can't pull the skin off a bear unless it is already dead

je ne comprendelez pas (this is spench by the way, a combination of the hard grape tongue and the light grape tongue wrung out into a feverishly frothy mix of deep mountain dialect)

'That every move, gesture, connotation and Inflection is calculated, ingenuine' Interesting, seemed to stick out. So much of what we do is following patterns instinctually. Saying hello etc.

Opium is not sweet it is a narcotic, it is dreamy yes.

You seem to have what you want to say worked out. How about the use of poetic means to convince the reader.

I don't want to be harsh, but you've got a few serious spelling errors, and it's just not good form to use "u" instead of "you". I would suggest that you run this through spell checker, and... redo the formatting. The lines would flow better if you said "Lay your head on the bed, Sleep with the dead" instead of keeping that all one line. Granted, that's just my opinion, but I would consider doing those things and then reposting it.

Love the content, love the dialogue, but maybe you could portray the dialogue somehow without quotations in order to be more poem-y. love -"sober blue eyes met with mine" "feverish hands" "spinning world" "rust pimpled metal"