some deleted user
on Givin' in by Freethinker1602
8 Nov 2003, 1:57 PM
Cool first seven lines, but then just babble
the idea is good, so too the end.
Your wanker award alone catches a ten from this poeat.
CHECK MY EARLIER POSTINGS... i PUT SOMETHING SATANIC UP EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE NOWADAYS. THE NAME IS MOSTLY THE DETRIMENTAL AFFECT i HAVE ON MOST SITUATIONS AND INDIVIDUALS
the word shroom is used and you automaticaly assume the topic is actually about shroomin- you crack me up.
SupremeDreamer
replying on The Birth of an Incubus (Born a child of scorn) by SupremeDreamer
8 Nov 2003, 7:25 AM
Ah, another thing: I will need to remodel most of the entire poem in some fashion to turn it into a sonnet- i aways end up doing such a make-over when i engage a poems rebirth.
This is better than before & 7X stronger with age:o)
SupremeDreamer
replying on The Birth of an Incubus (Born a child of scorn) by SupremeDreamer
8 Nov 2003, 7:06 AM
why would i give you shit? I don't suddenly evolve a complex when someone mentions metrification.. oki doki?
But i do have to inform you that i was not trying to be iambic or dissyllabic- aba ended with bb rhyme scheme was all i was being mindful of, having no thought about meter.
Yes, im a streetpoet- its why my other names include Y2kSlamPoet.. but i do know what meter is. ;)
Amen...
Hope the lord takes her in:o)
the idle gods has be woken & of ye a scornchild is cursed to birth...
I luved its twists...nd liked the the build up:o)
SupremeDreamer
replying on Awefucked by a Shushin Shitzu (freefuck) by <{Baba^Yaga}>
8 Nov 2003, 6:54 AM
Do you support censoring art? Do you kiss Mrs. Poetry with that mouth? (Holy Pen Protect Us- from the spread your PC zealot surmons, may art not become diluted)
There! Think me to be your complete opposite, and start praying you never meet the darkside of your mind- much too dreadful for you.
And trust me, theres worse things than MOTHERFUCKING FUCKLINGS!!!
Shuushin
replying on The Birth of an Incubus (Born a child of scorn) by SupremeDreamer
8 Nov 2003, 6:50 AM
then you will definitely have to deal with that last line - its off precisely because it's struggling to be iambic (at least something dissyllabic, imho).
go ahead, give me shit for spouting poetic on a poetry board, beotches.
My hand touched me crotch & it did something akin to the hair... Thats not love...but if u had said lust - maybe just maybe worth a 10 from me:o(
A couple cultures, atleast 2-3 i think, not sure since i really dont think about from where i grab some of the ingredients injected into my blender brew befor pushing the frappe button.
123 i just dont know:o)
borrowed tidbits along with my imaginative add ons and twists- im pretty good at it.. should see me at work with bible interpretation, its a heretics wetdream. ;)
SupremeDreamer
replying on The Birth of an Incubus (Born a child of scorn) by SupremeDreamer
8 Nov 2003, 6:29 AM
I might make a sonnet version- I get annoyed with molds though- having to add more than what I'm aiming for, etc, but I'm seriously contemplating doing what you suggest- thought up some ideas when was writing this version already.
SupremeDreamer
replying on The Birth of an Incubus (Born a child of scorn) by SupremeDreamer
8 Nov 2003, 6:20 AM
Well, im not crazy for yoderian usage myself- but sometimes it comes in handy and fits my mood.
The last line was an itch i had to scratch, ending at morn irritated me for some reason. -shrug-
Do you kiss your mother - your grandmother - or (lord protect us - from your procreation) your children with that mouth?