Bill Z Bub
on every moment will soon be memory by calliope
23 Oct 2003, 9:46 PM
I like the title very much. But the ellipses must go, imho.
aye, it's a puzzle.
Cogent, with a knockout ending.
well, it's supposed to be soothing...
ps I am not lost, I am experimenting. I'm no old pro, I'm still searching.
I guess we've lost you,Bub. I love nature. I love nature poems. But,
I almost
fell
asleep ...reading
THIS>
This is full of imagery which is great, but it could be much more potent (as poetry)if these were tightened down into short, tight jabs rather than lunging roundhouses (paragraphs). All the corporate references can probably be summed up more effectively. "Black and Latino" implies "dark-skinned". But, I like "RJ...Alma Mater."
You must write short (or long) fiction!
I imagine this series as an oral performance, and though I don't get it all, I appreciate it. The "recent" lineup here is full of weather poems tonight.
Again, the seasons in your secret garden.
Nice images. Winter will soothe the insomnia. I love the seasons in your work.
SupremeDreamer
replying on Indiana Jones and the Temple of 'shroom by SupremeDreamer
23 Oct 2003, 6:36 PM
ill grab "Indiana Jones and the Temple of 'shroom"
you people are very crafty with these titles..
skewl me.
SupremeDreamer
replying on Indiana Jones and the Temple of 'shroom by SupremeDreamer
23 Oct 2003, 6:34 PM
No, why should i?
if i was worried about it, would i post it?
Geschäftsreise
on African Killer Bees, it's not the smell of smoke by <{Baba^Yaga}>
23 Oct 2003, 6:33 PM
The poem was interesting, but the dialogue in the comments wins a medal
http://mulberryfairy
on African Killer Bees, it's not the smell of smoke by <{Baba^Yaga}>
23 Oct 2003, 6:10 PM
ouch
A social worker, even off the clock.
Nice little moral of the story there at the end, I know what you mean.
those grumpy god lovers need to lighten up
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
replying on Indiana Jones and the Temple of 'shroom by SupremeDreamer
23 Oct 2003, 3:17 PM
I forgot to mention that all my titles are directed by Nicholas Novi.
<{Baba^Yaga}>
replying on Indiana Jones and the Temple of 'shroom by SupremeDreamer
23 Oct 2003, 3:00 PM
Gocarts - The Magical Klute (AKA An Poosonic in opera able)
Starring Randy Flayed and Jane Wanda
Directed by Nicholaus Novi
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
on Indiana Jones and the Temple of 'shroom by SupremeDreamer
23 Oct 2003, 2:49 PM
Any of the following titles will be fine:
WHORE FORK
The mushroom that time forgot
Sweaty Confetti
The Lost Baptism II
Indiana Jones and the Temple of 'shroom
Shattered Illusions
Think before you beak
A Song For An Old Westminster Boy
Flames of Passion
Musings: Memory of Hope?
Beak Parade
The Mellifluos Sound of God: Musical Eden
really good but again there's no sense of editing or, how shall I put it, candence?
'It started off with the murder of a loved one.
The injustice haunts me even to this day.
The only thing able to right what was done,
Is to return the favor, in the exact same way.'
It started with murder. My loved one.
The injustice haunts to this day
The only thing able to right what was done,
Is the return of the favor, in the exact same way.