all the deepest's protest too much of your feelings. and tears drip from the depth? upwards?. But there does seem to be a poem here, a skeleton of feeling

overall a good complete poem. I don't think you need the lines 'gametic knife' or 'allure abounds'. Such phrases are already inferred I think. This poem has a certain frisson without.

This is awful. 0

Divine, -10-

Poetry is the lowest art-form known to man.

Sad. So many good things can be conjured on the throne and this is what you come up with. It is not even funny. You must be 14 and still laugh when you fart.

You just wanted to say "gloaming".

They're such oddly malevolent flowers--this works quite well. I like "twist a whimsied spiral," but "down and around" is redundant, and I am unreasonably biased against the word "abound"--it just strikes me as one of those "committing acts of poetry" words. The "watch we" inversion strikes a little artificially--does it have some purpose other than the rhyme? I'm usually turned off by archaic tones in modern poems, but the orchid has an odd, other-timely formality that makes it work here (it helps that you keep it light and reasonably subtle). Light and shadow, whimsy and floral murder--what's not to like?

Well, that was interesting - what is this show rated!! I don't think I've ever read an orchid sex poem like it. Wait, I've never read an orchid sex poem. what is "Watch we" - I posted a poem earlier about nanotech, and thought I might have focused on a relatively small group of folks who would "get it" - I'm pretty sure this would elicit a similar response. Hey - ya can't save em all!

I like the image - of slicing part of oneself to give to another. That is really conveyed entirely in the second stanza; I struggle to find meaning in the first. Dampen deep? Damp and deep? maybe just an interesting coinage - maybe some change? words dripping like tears is - used. I think the first stanza was just a warm up exercise for the second (this is not uncommon) - let it evaporate like sweat, and keep the second as a base for something very nice.

I often stand. I also check out the underage. That's the dirty old man in me.

I was looking at the Gothic Elvis pictures this morning. one is taped to my wall. the neutrality ones are lovely, especially Switzerland. I'll come too. There's chaos in those cuckoo clocks. Markie has been wearing a lot of short skirts with bright red high heels of late. Foxy.

the middle isn't so hot, but the rest is wonderful.

you forgot to smite the unworthy. boo. hiss.