Poemranker [most recent comments (39921-39940) and replies]

hipster flare on Mother by jacqui 29 Sep 2003, 7:20 AM

yeah, been there. My mom's a piece of work, too.

Joe-joe replying on Life on the Sidewalk (with superfluous vulgarisms) by ?-Dave_Mysterious-? 29 Sep 2003, 6:51 AM

Now you're talking....-10-

?-Dave_Mysterious-? on War Grave by Caducus 29 Sep 2003, 6:07 AM

You must have lots of painful memories about the war.

?-Dave_Mysterious-? on body image by http://mulberryfairy 29 Sep 2003, 6:04 AM

You should have just drawn an ASCII picture of a naked woman's body.

?-Dave_Mysterious-? replying on Love poem (on sense and experience) by thavimatola 29 Sep 2003, 6:03 AM

And you forgot to check "drug references". (p.s. -2-)

?-Dave_Mysterious-? replying on Escape is an Unaffordable luxury by Freethinker1602 29 Sep 2003, 5:53 AM

No way!

?-Dave_Mysterious-? replying on Life on the Sidewalk (with superfluous vulgarisms) by ?-Dave_Mysterious-? 29 Sep 2003, 5:49 AM

Try living my life for a while before you judge me so harshly.

?-Dave_Mysterious-? replying on Life on the Sidewalk (with superfluous vulgarisms) by ?-Dave_Mysterious-? 29 Sep 2003, 5:48 AM

Once, when I was about 12, me and my friend (the one who got killed in a drive-by) broke into a skag warehouse just off the M4. We did the whole lot right there and then. Boy, was that a real bad idea! I ODed and had to be rushed to hospital. My mum went fucking ape-shit. She told me I wasn't welcome at home any more and stormed away in tears. Then the doctor came in. He said he was tired of treating little punks like me and threw me out the back door along with the medical waste. I wandered the streets for a long time. I was really fucking freezing cold; it was snowing and I was still wearing my backless hospital gown. Eventually I found this homeless shelter. There was this guy dressed as santa clause, with a real crumby fake beard. He was a real phoney. He was giving out presents and cups of lettuce soup to homeless kids, so I went up to see him. But then I just puked up in his face, I didn't mean to, I swear to god, but I did. He hauled me out onto the street and started to kick my fucking face in. I looked up at him pleadingly, his santa's beard dripping with puke and all. Then he took a real heavy present and lobbed it at my head. It took a couple of teeth out. I pushed myself up from the freezing slush, and opened the parcel. It was a Corby trouser press.

Joe-joe replying on Life on the Sidewalk (with superfluous vulgarisms) by ?-Dave_Mysterious-? 29 Sep 2003, 4:00 AM

There you go joshing us all again. You sir do not exist! You are but a background Ranker program, triggered during a lull in action. That I'm sure of!! you old nested loop!!

Joe-joe replying on Life on the Sidewalk (with superfluous vulgarisms) by ?-Dave_Mysterious-? 29 Sep 2003, 3:58 AM

Banal, trite, prosaic, pedestrian, colorless, humdrum..etc.... Just another story bout a poor boy in the hood. arrr!!! think I'll take a nap.

Joe-joe replying on Life on the Sidewalk (with superfluous vulgarisms) by ?-Dave_Mysterious-? 29 Sep 2003, 3:53 AM

Superfluous vulgarism's aside.......oh no not you again!! -2-

Joe-joe replying on body image by http://mulberryfairy 29 Sep 2003, 3:48 AM

Isn't locomotion a 60's song (comon baby do the locomotion). Anyway, Mulberrry, what exactly is the "spirtiual notification" that was missed? Are you trying to point out the absurdity of our obsession with self image in the face of genuine tragedy? I think most people, whether they are conscious of it or not, use things like excercise to escape the daily tragedy that is thier lives. But yes, there are many who live in a box and can't see past their own vanity. Now that's a real tragedy. I liked this piece. Thought it was very well written. -8-

SupremeDreamer on A decade and five years of thought. by baphomet 29 Sep 2003, 2:03 AM

skull fucking fantastic wish i had bigger wings.

ho_hum replying on Wasted Words by ho_hum 29 Sep 2003, 1:50 AM

Commas Perhaps too many Perhaps poorly applied. But so preferable To excessive use Of line breaks For the same purpose.

ho_hum replying on Wasted Words by ho_hum 29 Sep 2003, 1:48 AM

In a severe case of nork squeezing they certainly look pretty unwilling. The second last line would look a bit odd without the last one, but fair enough.

-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. on Life on the Sidewalk (with superfluous vulgarisms) by ?-Dave_Mysterious-? 29 Sep 2003, 12:58 AM

The raw emotion that forms the very core of this poem is one of the most beautiful things I have ever experienced. 10.

thavimatola on Love poem (on sense and experience) by thavimatola 28 Sep 2003, 10:59 PM

Something went wrong. It certainly is NOT suicide-related, and I wouldn't say it was sappy. Some might.

thavimatola on Love poem (on sense and experience) by thavimatola 28 Sep 2003, 10:58 PM

Dark Angel's list. [_] AABBCC rhyming scheme [X] About romantic love [_] Arbitrary indentation [_] Arbitrary line breaks [_] Autobiographical but in the third person [_] Braggadocious [_] Clerical errors [_] Cliched rhymes (love/above etc.) [_] Cliched adolescent metaphors of darkness for despair etc. [_] Devoid of alliteration or any such linguistic embellishments [_] Devoid of rhyme [_] Devoid of simile, reification or any such literary devices [_] Devoid of wond'rous or fantastical imagery [_] Drug references [_] Elves [_] Exclamation points used to mark 'the funny bits' [_] Insipidly whimsical or zany [_] Leaving rant [_] Lower case only [_] 'Lyrics' [_] Melodramatic [_] Naively religious or superstitious [_] Obsessed with femininity [_] Overabundance of ellipses [_] Overuse of Latinate words and/or convoluted sentence structures [X] Pointedly unanswered questions [_] Protagonist has a smug name [_] Rage against the machine [X] References to the author's 'social life' [_] Repetition of a single word or phrase to the point of nausea [_] Sanctimoniously moral [X] Sappy [X] Suicide-related [_] Wish fulfilment

thavimatola on Love poem by thavimatola 28 Sep 2003, 10:55 PM

I shall save Dark Angel the trouble: [_] AABBCC rhyming scheme [X] About romantic love [_] Arbitrary indentation [_] Arbitrary line breaks [_] Autobiographical but in the third person [_] Braggadocious [_] Clerical errors [_] Cliched rhymes (love/above etc.) [_] Cliched adolescent metaphors of darkness for despair etc. [_] Devoid of alliteration or any such linguistic embellishments [_] Devoid of rhyme [_] Devoid of simile, reification or any such literary devices [X] Devoid of wond'rous or fantastical imagery [_] Drug references [_] Elves [_] Exclamation points used to mark 'the funny bits' [_] Insipidly whimsical or zany [_] Leaving rant [_] Lower case only [_] 'Lyrics' [X] Melodramatic [_] Naively religious or superstitious [_] Obsessed with femininity [_] Overabundance of ellipses [_] Overuse of Latinate words and/or convoluted sentence structures [X] Pointedly unanswered questions [_] Protagonist has a smug name [_] Rage against the machine [X] References to the author's 'social life' [_] Repetition of a single word or phrase to the point of nausea [_] Sanctimoniously moral [X] Sappy [_] Suicide-related [_] Wish fulfilment

thavimatola on Extra Strength Tylenol by DurtKL 28 Sep 2003, 10:51 PM

I think Dark Angel hit upon something with her list. How tiresome all those elements are. It's therefore surprising this poem is mediocre, or maybe better, which is a great deal better than most of the stuff here. Ms. Angel's stuff isn't about teenage love--to her credit--but her vulgarity, strained rhymes and penchant for bogus archaism is very limited, and ultimately irritating. This poem isnât great, but it could be great; Ms. Angel is going nowhere.