Jesus was no superstar. He was a superstar with cheese minus the special sauce.

fabulous, one of my all time favourite vilanelles, and in fact, it's the one I taught myself how to write vilanelles with a year ago, thankyou. 9.

[X] AABBCC rhyming scheme [X] About romantic love [_] Arbitrary indentation [_] Arbitrary line breaks [_] Autobiographical but in the third person [X] Clerical errors [X] Cliched rhymes (love/above etc.) [_] Cliched adolescent metaphors of darkness for despair etc. [X] Devoid of alliteration or any such linguistic embellishments [_] Devoid of rhyme [_] Devoid of simile, reification or any such literary devices [X] Devoid of wond'rous or fantastical imagery [_] Drug references [_] Elves, unicorns, etc. [_] Exclamation points used to mark 'the funny bits' [_] Insipidly whimsical or zany [_] Leaving rant [_] Lower case only [X] Melodramatic [_] Naively religious or superstitious [X] Obsessed with femininity [_] Overabundance of ellipses [_] Overuse of Latinate words and/or convoluted sentence structures [_] Pointedly unanswered questions [_] Protagonist has a smug name [_] Rage against the machine [_] References to the author's 'social life' [X] Repetition of a single word or phrase to the point of nausea [_] Sanctimoniously moral [X] Sappy [X] Self-pity [_] Suicide-related [_] Wish fulfilment -10-

..

now is the time for redemption.

..

libation frustration pour one on the hearth.

good poem. some people don't like arbitrary indents and carriage returns but I think it keeps you on your toes.

...

a little uneven..but so is hate-crime.

let me light a match and drop it on the forest floor.

NO, Dear. the last line is good. put the first and last lines together... "Still waiting for you to come my way, Not waiting for you to tell me the truth."

I wish you didn't need the rhyme either. looking for something is better than waiting for nothing.

find out then tell me.

We all die. That's what you do. but for now. stay living and write more.

I like this poem. thank you.

Salaams.