scitz
on museheart is internationally published by scitz
9 Sep 2003, 9:27 AM
(speliing mistake intentional to go wiv me bad powertry)
I herebty promise not to defile you.
if you wanna learn how to backstab see: http://www.livejournal.com/users/nentwin
Sì, è limitato, ma quello fa parte del divertimento!
'atonic lips' and other such rare usage words are not really needed.
The best parts of this poem are the little insights:
the dead mans plant (old people tend to live longer if they are given a plant to look after by the way)
the he is good 'adjusted'
the alms house, that looking after the old is 'charity' and not the responsibility of everyone.
a good piece
Ten, because I'm a horndog.
Perhaps, dearlink, but with the pants you wear, you still have to make sure you've got your coat behind you every time you sit down...
you're making me hungry. or is that the smell of my roommeates pancakes?
Last two couplets are too 'mushy'. The first two are rather good. I like the semi-surreal quality
this poems major problem is that it is so dull.
If you could fit something interesting into the nicely constructed verses it would be OK.
vis a vis the last line, am I to believe that usually the only way you get so much 'glee' is if you have more than one girl?
I did comment, fuckchop. Your rhythm sucks, your images are muddled cliche and overall, it's irreparable crap. No, not a goat. a monkey.
Thanks, sweetie.
Nice to know I've been missed.
yes, teams of editors tend to pick 'competition' style poems that noeone will argue too much about. Editors just distill.
Anyway I will rank your poem later, what score do you want?
good this, I meant to comment when you wrote it but my computer crashed.
Of all your poems this one and the if people still dont know why people hate america they should get out some more one are ones that I keep remembering
Whoa that is so good. I like both how it flows and the content.
I like it except that it sounds like more of a speech than a poem
It sounds a little too forced.
Ok come on, I've seen the movie "Ten Things I Hate About You Too". . .this is kind of a rip-off of that
image and ambiguity, violence
a fine piece