J.B. Manning
on i will not come to bangladesh by lost in america
20 Aug 2003, 1:49 PM
wow. A man of words I am, but I only have one for you. Wow.
hmmm
I liked the first three paragraphs. The fourth one broke apart, I think. Maybe massage the second and forth line in the last paragraph?
Keep on trucking.
very very fluid.
"ever/forever/whereever rhymes shouldn't really work?" and why not? They seem to work just fine. You're right that this poem reads well though.
I like this one. The point is clear, the rthym fluid, and your personality shows through. Smart.
I like it. Picturesque like pork loins being salted on your mobile patio.
It's a parody of John K's under the weather. Ah, that'd be about five or six poems down on the recent chart.
I love this. It's disgusting and beautiful at the same time. Like life.
This is a lyric and it's barely a seven.
Did you write this or did someone else? Instead of inserting a phrase explaining your spelling errors, why not just take the time to use spell check?
You mean the deaf poetry slam on Nigger. B. O ? With Brussel Simmonoxymorons? Good lord that is flattering.
not sure where this one was going.
this tries for something it cannot have. like a bawat pasikate on the grab.
This poem is great. If I were you, I would keep it close to me and maybe rework it a few different ways just to see where it takes you. It has the essence of a def poetry performance for sure!
Hmmm I like the flow and message of this poem.
Skinned doesn't touch skinned. That is an error.
pig--are you cad? or are you just signed in as laurence?
don't fuck with me. i am an advocate.