INTRANSIT
on Happiness & Old Age by Caducus
11 Aug 2003, 5:46 PM
Blue ribbons here!
now THAT would get me to go back to Maine.
Good sonnet--love how the rhymes are not obvious because you didn't make the mistake of end-stopping each line. You seem to gain an extra beat in lines 5 and 9 (9 is easily fixed if you make it deep instead of deeper). How come you didn't rhyme the couplet?
Re: Arkansas, I was only there once, backpacking--it's a beautiful state (they call it the Natural State), so if you like hiking, there are some great trails (both for dayhiking and extended treks). Other than that, I'm not sure. I think you'll find that Southerners are generally pretty friendly--that's been my experience, at least.
Jack Daniels.
I see why. Your mind has been sacrificed to your balls. lol. No worries. I just like stirring you up.
horus8
on WHY IS THE MEDIA SO LONDON-CENTRIC? Written last Tuesday by Nicholas Jones
11 Aug 2003, 12:03 PM
I hate late at night when your legs begin sweating and you're not even moving? I hate that kind of heat.
horus8
replying on Playa been caught in their games. (revised/new) by LuckyJoe
11 Aug 2003, 11:56 AM
Please, where you were going with it? There is no perplexing riddle to the theme or this poems point. It's your classic under loved housewife/or unmarried longterm girlfriend/lied to mistress blues coupled by the inevitable 'and all this love you gave away for what in return revelation?'. There's nothing to it. Nothing new. You should get risky and write it from the other person's perspective. And I wasn't crying I was doing the Jerk. So what does that leave you with? lol.
Probably one of the best Sonnets on Poemranker, and, as always, very intelligent and observant.
It is. And cowboys hardly need anything to assist their right to stupidity.
my pockets full of amt vials
thats sure to arouse smiles
as we druggie trip to saturn
ill watch the swirl of colors
frozen in a trance to learn
how to comprehend chaotic visions
of dancin purple men
making wicked incisions
into our skulls to then
suck the liquid out a straw
your soul seduced
pretty lips wide open in awe
as my rough fingers produced
yellow lightin down your creamy thighs
makin those lips breathe dreamy sighs
hopin my exploration discovers
pink tight lips
that'll be sure to make ya buck your hips
leavin you wantin more
depite no erection, dont worry, thats what viagras for
two gulps of rum to send them blue pills down my gullet
and ill ram it hard so you'll feel it
then at 2 am in the mornin,
i ditch the motel we fucked in
to continue explorin
the wonderfull realm of chaos
---
Heres my entry.. there, i got balls.. but like i said, i dont write songs lol..
horus8
replying on Inet. mag. editors R jealous red haired Jews, oh and I'm 29 by horus8
11 Aug 2003, 11:11 AM
The poem began like that as a birthday gift to myself called "happy Birthday Horus8!" I was so amused by having the gall to write the title like that it made me giggle, but then i went #4 on the best list and it started to get a lot of hits, so I took it down, because, well a couple of reasons, but mostly when I see a good vehicle to advertise on I use it.
You really think of it as childish? How'd you get to that?
I'm almost offended but I'd like an explination before I go that far.
Isn't there something poetic about an overly articulate political rant?
(Otherwise this 'Retaliate' thing may not be such a good idea after all)
ok, heres your zero.
yeah, isnt it wonderful? ;P
Yes, Cheers. You might like "Tingling". It's in my archives. Feel free to snoop.
Its not its a Haiku, Haiku's have a succinct nature of syllables in a format of 3 lines with 5 syl 7 syl and 5 syl
Here is your 9 again ---------------
Nobody's noticed, (not that I'd expect you to) so I will have to give it away myself! This poem is named after southern Maine's women's contact football team "Maine Freeze". Oh, the power!