EAger to Offend
on Looking down by INTRANSIT
8 Aug 2003, 3:50 PM
Hey, hold on. How can the chasms be tiled? What was it before? Clay-tiled roof or something...I had the picture of decrepit shed roofs before and that really worked for me.
SupremeDreamer
replying on Speaking my mind. Brilliant Idea! by thepinkbunnyofdoom
8 Aug 2003, 3:37 PM
I know, im skull-fucking-fantastic. ;]
Your welcome, I guess im your sadistic muse.
Btw, thats $3000.00- We Accept Visa/Mastercard.
Canonized these martyrs make
with subtle delicate haste
to absolve their mental kindred men
of those sins for which there is no end
Any better supreme? I like bilging better than braking anyway.
Braking is easy, bilging is dirty business.
Since when is ignorant fundamentalist nepotism the hallmark of a solid education? (Blair is at least articulate). Our president wouldn't know Dido from a dildo if she rammed her fist up his ass.
Nice note about "The bottom just sounds copied and forced to be something it doesn't want to be."
"The lake of tears slap"
Lake of tears? can you use some like... imagination?
the top can never be what it wants to be, even at the top, due to it being fattened with worthless cliche crap like that.
"Alone it stands,"
my god.. yeah, that really was an original way to see it.. this needs some style..
looks like it should be titled:
A Poet Weeping on a Pillow...
Stop whining, god thats fucking boring.. skull fuck me to death amazing, i almost blinked.. but no.
I passed out, and i was on meth.. no offense, just my lil ole opinion..
Other than that, its worth an 8, so thats your blessing.
go in peace..
Oh yes, much better, but it is much more vague, too, doubt I would've gotten it in its present form. But still very nice.
educated? thanks, now i really feel special.. about me being in office, thats news to me.. and whats wrong with the "set" (whoever that includes..) of educated fucks? compared to american politics, things here make more sense.. -shrug-
why do we have the wrong set of educated fucks in "office"?
You think that was good? You should see poetandknowit and horus 8 go fist-to-cuffs. Tyson got nuthin' on those two. love the rhyme scheme btw.
Definatly gotta be the top one. Go with what you like in poetry. Look never be unwilling to try something new but if it doesn't work out for you then don't do it. Simply put. The top version is well worth a -10- from me. The bottom would be an -8-. So here is a -10-.
Um... Correct me if I'm wrong here but this isn't a Haiku right? I mean 5-7-5? This is 5, maybe 6, and 4. No vote from me on this one.
Alright! Those last three lines are still perfect ,then. Somehow "to suggestion" doesn't quite seem to lead me there, though. I'm convinced that this is where the communication breakdown is.
Yah, I guess I did! Only, some rankers get pretty damn offended.
See the recent Joe Joe vs. DreamerSupreme fiasco. Now that's entertainment!
Great. Light use of words, but still a few things which torture it. Get rid of the last two lines, it's redundant. You left the reader with a strong enough image, let him figure it out for himself, he's guaranteed to.
if that is what you wanted I guess my criticism may not have been warranted
Why is it you can't say exactly what you want me to do? C'mon. How about some confirmation. I wanna hear it. No more ring around the roses, damnit.
copy that.
rids amigo.
Let me tell you bro that I welled up when I read this. I think your a natural leader and your voice needs to be heard so send this to 10 Downing Street and Washington, Brussels - FUCK IT ! ! ! go to the Moslem communties, their Mosques and read this.
I think the Whitney Houston finale really enhances your moral viewpoint on the really nasty and horridable world we live in today.
Finally heres a 10 and your right it should not matter if we're Black, White, Gay (or in your case just camp) Jewish, or 'Dirty British' JUDGEMENT DAY IS HERE AND GAY AS FUCK HAS DECLARED IT.
NOW LETS ALL TRY AND CHANGE.
******I JUST WANT TO SAY I LOVE YOU ALL ON POEM(E)RANKER******
Lets change the way we live I have started by throwing my C.F.C. aerosol under arm deodorant out in to the river.
pardon me. "bowl faced".