INTRANSIT
on I An Anew (re edit) by scitz
8 Aug 2003, 6:30 AM
rids? or rides. thats the only thing that trips me.
This would make a great pimple thats why your not bagging the 10s. An impudent entree in to that category would be advised .
Heres a 5 and i'll 10 it if its a pimple.
I wonder if the trombone is an actual sound or he heard the "fluting" of the flower. "bowl like" is mentioned earlier. another similar shape, maybe.
Don't worry about it. Nobody kicks like poetandknowit. The whole thing is about travelling the "straight and narrow" and temptation and failure.
You just described most rankers!
thank you for commenting on my poem. i really tried this time around lol. i think it took me nearly an hour to finally get it the way i wanted it. funny thing is it can be taken so many ways. l8r = )-
PAKI maybe just maybe the human race is failing because of people like yourself. I am proud that people fall for my (as you and only you seem to call it) crap poetry. Whats the point in arrogantly convincing yourself that your poetry is better than everyone elses when the majority of people are bored to death reading most of your poems? Yes you would argue that these people who like the poetry I write are soap opera watching, low IQ, Jerry Springer audience wannabe's BUT as that has been your constant whine at me then I suggest you go to all these people who have POSITIVELY commented on my poem and insult there intelligence for likeing such a piss poor poet as myself. You Sir write poetry less exciting than the ingredients of a Cornflake box ! the only difference is I will tell that to you directly rather than slagging you off to other users. This is because I'm wise enough to understand no-one gives a shit about our mutual dislike for one another.
The sad thing is you would be listened to more is you were not such a prick. Poetry is not defined with 'poetandknowit' yes you can write some excellent poetry but hey guess what ...apparently so can I, you may not be able to grasp that truth with your John Merrick size head but thats the way it is.
As for reading me in a TS voice, I am so pleased for you. I always read yours in a loud voice shouting because its the only way people will listen to it - by forcing them too.
Lots of Love
Cad
Well.. its just my dreamer way of voicing my opinion.. notice that i didnt include your first two stanzas.. those were good.
then you started talking about some goddamn wheel and shit, and im sitting there thinking: Man, this guy got some pretty good drugs.. because i don't have a clue what you were trying to do or what message you wanted to express.. bleh..
Good choice, retaliation isnt a good idea, bitching turns me into a demon and i really start shooting rockets at your work.
and about toke the snake, i know.. that was a fucking stroke of genius i had when i needed to fit my mini-parody into your rhyme and form, i succeeded in keeping it focused on a funny rant about masturbation.. im actually quite proud of myself.. ;)
SupremeDreamer
replying on My Fart Is Eternally Yours (Free Sniff) By Yo-Yo by DreamerSupreme
8 Aug 2003, 1:28 AM
Yeah dark.. his response makes you look like a wanna-be top notch dullard... because, frankly, his father-figure act was the most brain numbing response i have ever seen.. id read your witty crap comments for the rest of my life if i had only you and yo-yo as my choices...
And you called me a twit.. heres someone that could actually use your brain surgery. enjoy the microscopic inspection of his brain.. you'll get so bored you will commit suicide.. but your not masochistic as far as i can tell.
Ooh, this is a delicate one.
When the smelts are running the rivers really are silver though I could see if you didn't want to overplay the s sound.
E minor doesn't have to be a chord, it could be a key, which I think is how you meant it. Try "the trombones minor key" as most people wouldn't know E from F to hear it, but could recognize Major from minor.
Okay, I'm an idiot 'cuz I don't understand this poem in the least and yet I enjoy these images immensely. If it's not too much of a kick in the nuts, could you please give me a clue about those last four lines?
Reserving my vote. I'm glad I didn't read the version with "indecent proposal" in it.
I think Bedroom Butchershop is so much better just because it's succinct. This is just too much of a rant for me.
I know that feeling and it isn't fun.
But, this poem is.
hella funny! yur so silly
I would replace the word "depression" with something else like.. agony.. it made it sound so cliche and prescribed.. I hate hearing poems like this.. it reminds me of my old ones.. I got a really nice image thought with the veins in knots.hahah
awesome title. great poem. The relationship portrayed between the devil and..well..God as the lady is very good. the phrase "kitties galore" kinda scares me though..hahaha the pink bunny rules!!!
New Life Drug
on Inet. mag. editors R jealous red haired Jews, oh and I'm 29 by horus8
7 Aug 2003, 9:48 PM
hey horus!!! I haven't been around in a long time. this was the latest poem so I thought I'd sat hey and good job on the poetry (as always). had i been posting stuff I would have said a big HAPPY BIRTHDAY! k..adios..
I disagree. He heard the trombone. Why change what happened to suit our narrow predispositions? The trombone can be stately and somber if it so chooses.
Very nice richa.
E-minor is a chord, by the way, which would take multiple instruments to hear.
This is unfortunate because the poem really enjoys having a solitary instrument, but also benefits from recognizing specifically an e-minor feel.
Perhaps:
'and picking from the still air
a dorian scent of trombone'
(Dorian is a mode that has a minoresque feel to it and can be played with a series of notes on a single instrument.)
better?