http://mulberryfairy
replying on Karma by http://mulberryfairy
5 Aug 2003, 7:17 PM
Thanks. You must have an especially clickity tongue ring.
I don't care about what he did to religion and church, I have been an athiest since my mother couldn't answer my philosophical questions at the age of 6, but I do appreciate that what Henry VIII did to religion eventually led to divorce being okay, and eventually allowed women (and even a handful of gay people) to become active in religion, if they choose. I mean, what if we were still living like those Catholics of his time, women being viewed as corrupted by the devil and unclean, women having to address their husband's formally, etc. I know people think that culture now is too liberal and that the institution of marriage is falling apart, but I believe it is evolving for the better. (Couldn't get any worse, could it?) Thanks for the 9.
I prefer your closing line because it seems (she) was a lover or girlfriend. and you're going home to silence or the lack of a second body. I think Zs suggestion would lead me to think "mother".
Croupier? absolutely.
INTRANSIT
on A parking lot, a smoke, and the pleasure of being alone by thepinkbunnyofdoom
5 Aug 2003, 4:20 PM
Pinkmeister, This does have potential. It NEEDS to drop the (sentence) structure. and it reepats itself for an ending. It's good to play poet. It's better to back it up with some work.
thanks. any advice on direction?
cool. ;)
:'(
No shit dude. I was raised by prawnes actually. Did you know the one thing a prawne fears most is an EXOSKELLINGTON?
I needed to smile today
I love "frenzied victim" I had to read this poem a few time out loud because tounge hit teeth so nicely.
what I enjoyed most was the vision of humanity and nature the questions and statements that were given. I very beautiful peice
This is such a great poem.
JoyLuck
on A parking lot, a smoke, and the pleasure of being alone by thepinkbunnyofdoom
5 Aug 2003, 1:39 PM
no eyebrows and a cameltoe sounds more interesting and diverse...haha...i just don't like how 13 sounds.
Neither, it's Stridex.
de HABilitated man.
this is a lyric. and a damn fine one at that.
My brand of wierd. Smell ya later.
Idealy haiku should appeal to at least two of the five senses. It's something I don't do every time either.
Seems like a cleaner edit.
Shardik
on A parking lot, a smoke, and the pleasure of being alone by thepinkbunnyofdoom
5 Aug 2003, 11:52 AM
Your first statement is powerful, you need to have her with eyebrows and fourteen or twelve toes by the end, or you'll story will die, worthless. Once again your first line sets the pace, so deliver the goods that's what we're interested in. Why, How, who, where, we know when and who you are already, you mentioned ghost town so get there man.