horus8
on Lethal Weapon by poetandkonwit
2 Aug 2003, 11:50 AM
And to think... I thought you were talentless?
"This crazy dance holds all
The flavor of bananas."
I like this line, but think you should come up with a more specific adjective than "crazy" before dance.
ah, i thought it was incestors.
well, uniquity doesnt have my vote.. i say stick with the original spelling, but again its your poem, its good nevertheless.
I like to make up my own words if they fit my rhyme or rythm better than the real ones - particularly if I figure that they are decipherable.
incestors - those who act on incest (sorry 'bout the type-o)
uniquity- just sounds better than "uniqueness"
Thanx for the 10. This is old and I used to be more brash.
Well done. 10.
Nice job. I like the flow except this one part:
"Taken good care of
by politics called "love"
retarded defectives and
mutants can rise above"
Did you mean incestors or insistors- I could see how either might fit in.
insestors - webster doesn't recognize this word.. what is it sposed to mean? Same for uniquity.
other than that, this is a gigantic leap from your other works, im impressed. Blessed with 10
I enjoyed it.. blessed with 8
bleh, bored me dead.. couldnt even finish the first two stanzas before i wanted to ram my skull into my monitor and electrify my soul.. 4
Amusing. blessed with 9.
lmao. well man, you no longer need my chemical twist to inject the funny potion into your work.. you suceeded beautifully. 10.
Thanks, I think you might be the only one that read past the cheesy title.
Only if you can learn the difference between "your" and "you're". You'd think someone as professional as yourself would have a better grasp on such basic tenants of the English tongue.
Also, for what it's worth, "Tell me your[sic] not really that dense?" isn't a question, either.
i know what you mean... 9
yes. much clearer. but you forgot homeland security and the TIA. althou those are probably buzz words, and now we're both on a list...
Ang galing... 10
liked it... 10
sheeps...6
hehe...
I liked the last stanza...