Emotional depth. Connecting with your reader on some level emotionally so that they want to read on(or in some cases don't). It can be used wake your reader up from a state of complete apathy and boredom. Angry Poems when written correctly tend to have the most force for a response from the storage house of chemicals we call our brains(for a good one that was mostly negative feedback check out my 'Mom And Dad' or 'Bad Mood', both were a little to angst driven but anger almost drips from them). Love Poems(which are for the most part boring and so mindnumbingly the same that they don't tend to work for the desired effect unless the reader is in the right mood) can be good but Overall Humorish poems work the best. I liked your Yoda poem because it was Humorish. Humor no matter how angry, or upset, or whatever emotional state we are in tend to be able to lighten our moods. There is nothing wrong with a Mystical poem but most of the good ones I've read tend to be shorter and ask simple questions with complex answers that provoke more complex questions. Yours while thought provoking ask in themselves multiple questions, and/or tend to be too discursive. Stick with one subject(please not religion or religious teaching I beg you) and focus on that without over doing it. Yeah descrition is a HUGE plus, but there is a point when your going too far and it subtracts from your meaning. philosophical/metaphysical thought (which is to religion to alot of people i.e. Buddist) doesn't have to be emotionless. Remember, Wonder is an emotional state too, and that is what you should be trying to get to. Might be a good Idea not to use words giving a sense of yourself pondering the questions you are possing. Such as "into MY unconquered mind". Just a tip, no offense but it adds redundancy to something that shouldn't have any. I hope that was of some helpful value cause if not, I can't really explain emotional depth any better. Its just a connection. Connections tend to keep things interesting because if done right they make what your saying have a life of its own that begs to run its course, and hopefully come to a nice tidy end.

-chuckle- no, it isnt entirely lost on me. At the time i was half awake and scanning over poems while pondering a new poetic style for my work. While analyzing the poems, I forgot to try and figure out what the original song was, before making an opinion to your humoristic revision to it. In short: I wasn't all there upstairs. Don't worry, I notice the humor now, and it is indeed amusing. ;)

ah, ok ok. I see. btw, i notice some sort of pattern with the first words of each line in your poem: The Not Not The Not He He To Then He I suggest thinking of better ways to start your lines.. and to avoid such dull repetition of these words. Dont feel bad, I'm working on not using the word I, so your not alone in learning how to be more creatively flexible with language.

Emotional depth... ah well, ok, do me a favor and explain to me what you mean by that. Because, frankly it was not the poems mission to strike emotional feelings.. its mission was to induce philosophical/metaphysical thought. This usually doesn't require injecting the emotion potion into it, which might easily start to evolve the poems mission to induce thoughts of religion. The reason it seems machine written, is because eastern mystic writings hold to a code of apathetical presentation.. due to the belief that emotion at times tends to suffocate the meaning of the mystical piece. So it expresses emotion without delving into intense emotional expression. OK? no offense taken as to your opinion, i dont get pissed with advice or criticism. BUT i do feel that one should try to understand the point of the poem and think perhaps why the poet wrote it in a certain way. I do agree, the poem reads quite banal, but it has to do with what it talks about. Compare my OM poem and this one, and you just might be surprised to see a relation. Oh yeah, dont forget explaining this emotional depth thing of yours to me, so i understand what you mean when you mention it.

Ah well, thanks. I plan to come out soon with a few more poems that deal with my failings and my thoughts of how to overcome them. Expect more amusing stuff to appear. ;)

Um.. Uh.. I think the title explains its self. I didn't write it, More the way I sing a song I wrote for my girlfriend played in reverse wrote it, and I thought I'd share. I see it as trash but Its so funny to listen to, considering that this is one of those banal love songs that whiny teenage boys write, with simple words proclaiming I love her(take a moment to say ah.. how sweet and move on) and having it turn out like this? Played backwards my trivial love song becomes a song about a father scolding his son, for being a waste. Come on surely the humor in the ironing of this isn't lost apon you?

Let's not get partisan you filthy hick pederast.

Well this poem basically mean this bum wasted his life he could have been a scientist and it was just his dream and it will never happen

Your opinion of my style and my style are 2 different things and my poem is what it is, MY POEM. How you feel about it is dandy, but in the end, that doesn't really matter. I made no real attempt at anything other than writing something to amuse myself, which it did, so in the end its purpose was served. There are actually serveral Ideas expressed here, much as you seem not to believe it. One of which being that innocense can be bought (Girl selling her virginity). Another being that being too trusting can end up getting you killed, as well as not knowing your limit (the whole biker, bar, drunk being burnt to death). Another great one being that Everything has a price (dignity). See Ideas, put into a blender with, Creativity, Insanity, A small dose of Humor(which even you have to admit is there at least on some level or else your lying to yourself). Pour into a glass(poetic story form) and You have yourself a niffy little Milkshake I like to call ack basswards or something like that. Muwahahahahahahaha

Ok sounds good