brazen
replying on Haiku: The Legend Continues by brazen
20 Jun 2003, 8:28 AM
R I G H T
This one time I'm saying: over the top. too much. repetetively twisted. Honestly, cut it back.
or don't. wash your car with it.
Dear Nicholas:
How are you doing? For me anyway things seem to be going quite well.
Your comments concerning your wish that I keep writing poetry on "poemranker," I really prefer not to do so because there are so many individuals on this website who are primarily out to degradate others attempts to "do their best" at writing poetry. At first I thought that it was kind of fuuny and I enjoyed debating them. But as time went on so many of their comments just became a kind of "pain in the ass."
However, if you would like to ever communicate with me in the future feel free to e-mail me at dougsod@wcjc.cc.tx.us-------.
The best to you, and thanks again for your very thoughtful comments.
Your Friend,
Doug
Doug, come back. This reminds me a little in style of the mighty Hugh MacDiarmid, although not in content (he was a militant communist). It is a densely packed, intelligent poem, desperately striving against its own limitations to find salvation. Needs more work, but well done.
Read it aloud to yourself and grind off the speed bumps. They're small but will make it better to read.
Don't go, Doug. We need more people like you on this site who take things seriously, not less. And your George Bush limericks were excellent.
Good job Jess. Alittle more serious than others you've written. Say, I've been looking for an open mic spot in Milwaukee, ain't found one yet. you?
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I.
replying on when you want your haiku to be cool but otherwise got it trashed because you are f*#ing limited by 5-7-5...and you think you can get away with it but end up getting criticized in the web by some deleted user
20 Jun 2003, 6:11 AM
Dear Robert K Foster,
Having observed your behaviour on PoemeRanker for a number of months now, it seems clear to me that your greatest achievement to date lies in comprehending the 5-7-5 syllable count constraint employed in the Haiku form. However, given that Japanese syllables are different to English syllables in terms of "length" and the "amount of information" they convey, this limitation cannot really be imposed formally. Had you written all your Haiku in Jap I might have some sympathy for your outrageous, and frankly rather offensive, claims. May I suggest you pay a visit to the following site:
http://pachome1.pacific.net.sg/~loudon/a
never, my man, never look back.
? I didn't know starfish ate cherries.
Sonnets are a bitch. start with a rhyme scheme, abd go from there. check out www.sonnets.org
I don't care that this is sacreligious, it is crap any way you look at it. nice job.
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T R I T E
If you actually wrote this yourself, bravo. if not, then shame on you for defacating on art.
strangely un-haiku like.
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are you counting the title as part of 17 syllables?
Robert K Foster
on when you want your haiku to be cool but otherwise got it trashed because you are f*#ing limited by 5-7-5...and you think you can get away with it but end up getting criticized in the web by some deleted user
20 Jun 2003, 5:32 AM
the limitations are what force the discipline and that is the essence of the Haiku form--beauty through discipline.
"sometimes an apparent constraint can serve to free the imagination" - Theodore Roethke
I used to be in love with the trapezoid myself, until i discovered the tetrahedron.
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mekka lekka hi mekka heiny ho.