richa
on sharkmouth by Bill Z Bub
5 Jun 2003, 10:44 AM
I like the structure, very inventive
'all men are pigs' after she said that did you introduce yourself (as mr pig) ?
very sweet poem as ever, moving in images
Thank you oh lord of the sun-wine realm, oh avatar of a new aeon, oh stalker, oh warrior, oh sorcerer.
Gripping, and involved. 10
armadillo ecstasy?
I would change the title and the structuring eventually, to accomodate the story more.
I'm suprised you can write this good outside a mousehole, anyway, it's oceans beyond your haiku that's for sure. 9.
Ha!
I think I saw three question marks in there beating up a beautiful theme.
Oh... Well, just so you know, now I'm #10 of 47 since we're uttering off random phrases to see what happens.
Yep.
I suppose counting is overated at this point. Or is that just the chamber music playing in the background?
Why would I abuse my sweet son? He doesn't write shit poor poetry like this. If he did, mind you, I'd call him an ugly dike and throw him to the wolves. Also amyl nitrate is bad mmmmmmmkay, and for faggertz, I am a proud gay man, and I have never hurt a child in my life excepte for that twat Katie, and vipersna the magical chirping cunterspaniel, and that was because she left toxic snail tracks on my new spanish tile after her pa left brownie bum tracks on my new shag carpet. i guess that was his idea of walking? He walks like she writes, war has a way of making people do stupid shit huh vampissedoff, maybe one day, after your journey through the fields of child abuse you'll understand what it was all about. When that day arrives. Don't be suprised to wake up with a giant clitoris clear taped to the end of your nose, until then, do a popper, and please learn how to properly be insulting, because most of your poem is actually flattering 10!.
Fine
Mining pyrite from salt, thats me. Soothing blisters of synthesis walk on alkaline locks. Huh?
Yes I read the barrage of comments on the crap poem you and I berated. Then little dutch boys finger fell off in the dam and a deluge of insults came yours and Shardiks way. her poem (her name fails to register) was masqueraded in a lamentful excuse of 'its about my friend having SIDS (Severe Incompetent Dickhead Syndrome) I cant write a good poem so I'll come out with talons and spit shit. I get it man.
Your poems not as important as its retailiatory message and i quote from wisdom words of val kilmers voiceover for Elvis in 'True Romance' ---
I like you man, always have always will
8 turkeys shot.
09
and yes eschelons fits like a milliners hat. Well done its a daisy.
Sublime, a wonderful poem and thats all I can say and all I'm gonna say.
Your a show off, a scoundrel, and a german sausage eating Lord of a sprawling property.
Teach me Mr Pig this is beautiful and I am beginning to think you must be a lady for you are in touch with the femimine aura.
Ten