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on Falling Out Of Love by Sawa
12 Mar 2003, 3:08 PM
sister Sawa. it will not always be like this.
I enjoyed the wordplay muchly.
Yummy.
i know this feeling.
hmmm, what will you be thinking, while you're squirming around inside the scapegoat christ, about the 95% of humans who ever lived that your god is torturing for no other reason than that they didn't dedicate their lives to satisfying his narcissism? Numbers 31, that's who you serve.
i'll give you my assessment which side of the line frass walks on sunday. we'll be meeting up in washington at the war protest.
my dear man! you ramble so! the ranker will be here for you when you wake!
accepted, my fine and loyal swine. but i think your metaphors mix too much here. it's a stretch, but not so outrageous a stretch as to chink! into place.
I liked this poem a lot but I sheepishly confess I'm still trying to puzzle out the meaning of the last stanza. Can I get a hint?
My dear please accept my apologies for the delay in responding. Wine saturates holy bread is mataphoric for blood saturates Jesus flesh and Judas eats his supper on the night he died the day after he sat with Jesus when they shared supper, 2 paralells of good and ...well lets just say not so good.
Balthazar is wise and can rate
Frass's true sexual state
the bringer of myrrh
doesn't concurr
the dear writer really is straight
This poem fucking rocks. Oh wow. I grew up with such country in my backyard 'n' much time alone in it. nosTALgia, it's such a great drug.
Although I suppose DA has a point. I'd say lurking instead of wriggling, but only because I'm a melodramatic fool. "still trying to reach up" could just be "still reaching" ??? I dunno. But I really like this poem, even if those really are flaws.
thanks.
henh?
there once was a fellow named smlink
who scrabbled and smirked like a skink
demanding better symbols
and clashing his cymbals
trying to hide his own poetry's stink
Love it!
Ah, I think you misunderstand me here. What there is is fantastic, but for a fast piece it takes too long to say as a single line. I think that zzinnia (see-no capitals!) might want to consider splitting it into two lines. I agree with you that this is an excellent poem, just my opinion on that line is different.
vibrates between brilliance and pat nonsense rhymes like a schizophrenic man rapping. The last lines made me shiver, and I thought carcus must be some ancient obscure mythical boat. But a lot of googling reveals only mispellings of carcass.
i like the contrast of light verse and dark content
bwahahahah it was worth reading the above shite to get to read this comment.
is your name Maud? just curious. Lynn?