horus8
replying on The darkest woods ever by Shardik
15 Feb 2003, 10:46 AM
Once i went for a walk in the woods and learned how to make mail bombs, and anthrax. I ate dogshit while i was there. Raw. Naw, just kidding, but my mother once left me for a night alone at a camp site in Kauai. i was molested by a poltergeist. i liked it. it changed me though forever now i have the dark streal, and not in my pants.
Lets not pull punches genitilemen.
REAP IT MCCREADY (slow motion Emilio Estavez baby faced smile, trigger action giggle)
http://www.english.uiuc.edu/maps/poets/s
bsjones84, thank you for commentng on my poem. i am sorry you found it vulgar, and, to be quite honest, i wondered about the poem's vulgarity after you made that remark. then i went back and read it. then i read your poems. and i realized that you have very little grasp of the use of metaphor as a poetic device, and therefore, you would naturally find my writing vulgar. i invite you to reread the poem, with the understanding that there is no sex happening in that particular poem. instead, i am using the excitement one feels at the promise of imminent copulation as a device to describe the excitement that words give to me, and to him. thank you for your time, pilgrim.
p.s. i have plenty of poems where sex actually does happen, and they are far from vulgar in their descriptiveness, if that's what you're looking for. words ezxcite me. what can i say?
oh my. where ever did you get this dirt????
I'm willing to guess you are the cute one onthe organ with all ot the awardes... Do you ever get bored of people telling you that you are great? I do. You know i knew River. If he saw this he would weep. I'm glad that you are close to your father James. I hate mine... Passionately.
http://www.english.uiuc.edu/maps/poets/s
I like the way you've used the planet in your poeme as a metaphor for our own planet: Earth. Are we to just stand about like kidneys whilst our governments destroy thousands of acres of rainforest simply to fuel their own greedy capitalist agendas? I don't think so, buddy.
I'd like to quote, if I may, a section from your poeme that tackles such issues with astounding clarity:
"...two point five billion must live in the stink
that arises when people have no sanitation
and you tell me all this deserves no lamentation."
I'm not some sort of international hero, but I know I'll be doing some lamenting in the coming weeks and months. Will you?
Good Christ, I hope so.
barf barf
Nice show Mr. H. And thanks for the xample.
Well, it sounds a hell of a lot better than my "runes". I/P is not an easy task. Can you do it?
Kind of short and the thoughts don't seem to be collected
Nice way to capture the unceasing progression of time.
As far as I know a sonnet is written in iambic pentametre, which is not what you have here, that does not make it a good or bad poem, just not a sonnet.
For me it looks very rough, in terms of the grammar and such, nice idea though.
:}
dreamier.
666%
how about now.
talent no doubt
it's the 'tea' that ruins it--not intimate enough/too casual...:
mebbe
sipping honeyed nectar, golden hued
lest it's her honey, and he's the humming bird sipper.
nice.
this is the weakest line:
Sipping honey tea a golden hue